Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
SmexiLexii 3
Which is why she gave u up in the first place.
ogle5431 1
You should be stoked. she's American so maybe you can get rid of UK citizenship and upgrade to American!
Flutist 3
Like super sizing?
katiemarie23 0
Because that's definitely an upgrade. :/ You're basically saying that going from a nice house to a shack is an upgrade. Brilliant logic.
guckylynn 19
People like different things about different countries, so it's really rude to speak negatively against any. That being said, I think this comment is incredibly ignorant.
carnage1108 0
more like a pawn shop
krez 20
fries > chips :-)
QWERTYCommander 5
That's like upgrading from a Bugatti Veyron to a beater truck. And I'm American.
Tadeusz_fml 5
I have both citizenships and I value my British one more, although in fairness I did grow up here and it is to Britain I owe my education etc
marcranger 29
more options on health care, better education, and stronger currency than ours in the States...maybe bio-mom was trying to reclaim her daughter so she could upgrade?
EvanJ_fml 0
That's not an upgrade. That's one helluva downgrade. Keep the UK, and don't bother with dual citizenship. The U.S. is incredibly overrated.
sjch 0
#31 is obviously trying to be witty. Regardless, US > UK
Tadeusz_fml 5
Like I said, I'm American AND British, and in my fairly unbiased and experienced opinion, the UK wins this one. America's great too though.
yourlifesfucked 0
'merica! **** Yeah! Seriously though, politicians are ruining this country. Europe > US. Just saying. Although really, OP, why did you have to add American to the description of her being an awful person? You know, not all Americans are horrible people, just like not all Brits are yellow-toothed, tea-swilling...... something or other that's offensive... idk....
ogle5431 1
wow just a joke. I didn't realize limies are so sensitive. or maybe it's an inferiority complex you all have haha.
skyenoelle 15
And you're an ugly bitch. Shut the **** up you ugly man.
TheMonica 0
I guess we will find out if nuture wins of nature. Let us know how you turn out in a few years, OP.
Shinygirlnz 1
Don't rip on that Twilight guy, for all you know he could end up being your new daddy.
lil_ham1644 29
Hate twilight, but I do like him in Harry Potter. Gotta admit, given a good role, he's a pretty decent actor.
cc_the_beast 6
Back to the old nature/nurture debate. If you are able to tell that your mum is a freak, I would say nurture has shaped who you are, not your nature...
catatonicsleep 17
unless she has the nature of her biological father instead...
cc_the_beast 6
Yeah, but generally I don't think she has much to worry about if she is able to tell that her mum is a bit odd. Thats a good sign!
Jester7 0
that is indeed unfortunate. just know that not all Americans like twilight nor are we over weight. that is an unfounded stereotype.
Anubis_81 21
I know right, I'm an Aussie, and it's what we hear nearly every week, all Americans are fat. I call bullshit.
annanutbread 0
Exactly 40!!
harmony88 0
A study published last year says that 63% of Americans are overweight..... so..... maybe not all, but a lot..... and you've got to assume that of the 19 million ($190 million revenue/$10 per ticket) that watched the first film opening weekend in the US and Canada, 90% were in the US (U.S. pop: 307 mil, Canada pop: 33 mil), making for a total of 17 million die-hard Twilight fans in the US. Accounting for those that are overweight, given a general distribution of both characteristics, there are approximately 6 million Twilight fans who are not overweight and 11 million that are. Of those 11 million, there is probably a disproportionate number of females..... this will be my first estimate: 3 female:1male twilight fan(s), which makes for 8.25 million overweight, female Twilight fans. That means OP's mother is part of a demographic that makes up 2.7% of the total US population. TL;DR There are 8.25 million overweight, female Twilight fans in the United States.
QWERTYCommander 5
And there are over 100 million people living in the US. Point?
Tadeusz_fml 5
330 million Of which 68% are overweight (less than in Mexico, Paulau, Saudi Arabia and Nauru though) so 228 million American people are overweight or obese. That is the point.
sjch 0
Studies show that you just wasted time you can never get back by proving #40 right- not all Americans are overweight Twilight-lovers.
Tadeusz_fml 5
It's a separate point, the country has a serious problem. Maybe jog to macdonalds instead of taking the mobility scooter every morning?
Vegangeekgirl 2
That sucks. But don't worry about the part where she says you remind her of herself. Many parents say that even when the kid are nothing like them. Probably is just wishing.
Flutist 3
I'm adopted and I have met my bio-parents. When you are raised by adopted parents they are your parents. It doesn't matter what the bio-mom is doing, Op has parents who are more than willing to spend time with her I am sure.
barlessprison 16
For all you know, she might have made you her partner in that mission of hers had you not been adopted and your FML would have read "Today I was dragged around the UK in search of a fictional vampire. FML." So be thankful.
Flutist 3
Not to suck all the fun out of the room... but maybe the Op's mom has no one else in her life and used twilight as a means for an escape. Being a middle aged, overweight woman who gave up her kid (perhaps she has no kids now and is lonely ) is sad enough already. I think your mom is just trying to be her own kid since she gave you up. So, instead of ragging on her, why not take this as an adventure to learn about your birth family. If after hanging out with her she is truly just crazy and not just lonely and trying to find love in books then you won't have to ever see her again. But sometimes thing s happen in people's lives that drive them to do strange things. Don't write her off completely.
Invierno 10
There is no justification for being a Twilight fan. Not even loneliness. It's trash and no one should defend buying into such nonsense for any reason. There is plenty of good literature out there, and making excuses for these people, or that awful writer (and it's a shame that she ever became published), only devalues the importance and quality of good literature. It's time to do away with this poor excuse of a novel and any others like it---for the sake of humanity as a whole. OP, sorry that your biological mom is such an imbecile, but that you are aware of this makes it clear that you are NOT like her at all. Cheers to the good parents that raised you!
sonangedemusique 2
excuse me, but it's quite rude to speak that way of something that many people like. And not all twilight fans are obsessed and crazy. I happen to love Twilight, however I would never do anything like go search for Robert Pattinson...nor do I believe that it's "real". Some people just simply like the stories, so stop acting like you're better than people. ;)
Flutist 3
I never said the mother was logical. I just said that she was most likely lonely. There is no reason for cult behavior from people. I don't particularly like the books but I think there are two sides to the same coin. If people can hate it with all their being then people have the right to love it just as intensely. You don't have to understand it for it to be valuable. Yea, its not the best literature but people who are lonely want to imagine simple, comforting things. If a vampire brings someone joy then why do you have to destroy that?