Today, after being single for over five years, I was chatted up at the airport. Sadly, Prince Charming was a homeless guy who had very strong body odour, soiled trousers, a can of cheap beer and bugs in his dreads. He kissed my hand. I feel violated. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MdMan3 17
He was just being nice, it was a compliment. It's not like he groped you or did anything inappropriate, cheer up OP. Although his described appearance is horrible, just appreciate the gesture.
cassiet 16
At least you know there's still a little bit of hope.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Yarecho 14
By "people" do you mean one person?
brittanykbrown 1
Now we know why you've been single for five years, you're unappreciative and rude.
soulreaper12296 28
If being creeped out and feeling violated because a dirty homeless person kissed any part of your body is unappreciative and rude, then I'll gladly be called that.
kimiirenee 17
don't be judgemental. he sounds like a good guy, going through a rough time. I'm sure he has an amazing story.
Shay_Shay97 23
I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth while reading this.
OnAMission 5
His hair would have bugged me the most.
TaoShaman 24
People are being seriously judgemental. OP never said anything really rude about him or that they're better than him. People tend to not like being touched by random strangers, especially with their mouth, regardless of who it is. Just because he didn't kiss OP on the mouth or something doesn't make it less uncomfortable. And not everyone has time to talk to every single random person that tries to talk to them to learn their story or anything. It's not their responsibility either. It doesn't matter what his story is. Touching someone without their permission is rude and creepy. OP being single has nothing to do with their reaction. Most people would not be okay with random strangers just grabbing them. It's creepy, rude and often frightening. You don't know what they're going to do. A friend of mine got bit by a random stranger on the street. Should she take it as a compliment too?
FenderM 5
Rude and creepy != violation. And do you not realize the difference between biting and a closed mouth kiss on the back of a hand? If not, whoever taught you that owes you an apology.
FenderM 5
Wow. I hope you're never actually violated. I hope that for everybody, really. But yeah, I hope that's some kind of grotesque hyperbole on your part and you don't actually feel violated that a homeless person flirted with you and kissed your hand.
DogStew 20
Poor homeless guy. His situation is way more FML than yours.
polsen4273 8
Beggers can't be choosers..
kickindekok 7
shhhh don't have an opinion! people will down vote you for being real lol