Today, after being single for over five years, I was chatted up at the airport. Sadly, Prince Charming was a homeless guy who had very strong body odour, soiled trousers, a can of cheap beer and bugs in his dreads. He kissed my hand. I feel violated. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I was in the airport after saying goodbye to my boyfriend who left for three months. Walking back to my car, I saw a young couple kissing passionately. If that wasn't bad enough, the guy then picked his girlfriend up, spun her round in the air and her foot kicked me square in the jaw. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I walked into the bar to meet my Tinder date and sat down next to him at the bar. Without looking up from his phone, his first words to me were, “Piss off fatty, I’m meeting a hot chick tonight.” I guess he didn’t recognise me with my hair done and in a nice dress. FML
Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
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Top comments
MdMan3 17
He was just being nice, it was a compliment. It's not like he groped you or did anything inappropriate, cheer up OP. Although his described appearance is horrible, just appreciate the gesture.
cassiet 16
At least you know there's still a little bit of hope.
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Comments (56)
deepan_dsouza 12
what if he was shooting a Prank Video?
TruckRAMrod 3
I see why you're single
puppies4life 10
Apply cold water to burned area
kickindekok 7
very judgemental you are, breed you must not
kafka13 9
and you think your comment isn't judgmental?
kickindekok 7
so her being judgmental about a homeless person is? it's called an opinion... but wait! this is 2016 the year of the offended internet pussy. I'm sorry I forgot! here is some complimentary tissues and a bridge to jump off :)
YoloWhiteRSA 20
Beggars can't be choosers.
polsen4273 8
Thats funny right there, I dont care who you are!
da_epic_failman 7
Don't be mean! The only reason you feel violated is because he was ugly. Maybe tell him that you'd be his girlfriend if he cleaned himself up. Or help the guy find a job. Or tell him you don't feel comfortable being touched.
interesting33 37
It could be OP feels violated because OP didn't want someone kissing her hand. My sister is a bit of a hypochondriac and I know she would have freaked if that had happened to her and really worried about it. It isn't very nice. And why should OP say she'll be his girlfriend? She doesn't know him at all, we don't know why he is homeless. I think entering into a relationship with him where OP tries to get him a job might not be a good idea, she doesn't know him at all. There are charities that can do that safely. Telling him she isn't comfortable being touched is a good idea :)
AverageAvarice 23
She never said he was ugly, she described his dirty appearance.
panda900 9
From the way you describe this man, it seems more he was looking for anyone to be nice enough to chat with & obviously you were kind enough to give him the time of day. People aren't always hitting on you when they attempt small talk tho he very well may have been. Kudos to you for being kind. But if a relationship is what your looking for - then put yourself out there "in proper" ways, be you, & certainly don't go after anything only to settle. People go for confidence often. Make yourself the most important thing & you will eventually draw to you those with the same path in life. Being single can be a much better way of life than fighting & losing yourself trying to always be in a relationship just to not feel alone :)
dietcoke09 25
I'm sure you wouldn't feel violated if he was a well groomed man with a job.
TheHcwalker 20
He kissed your hand, not your boob, calm down, I'm sure he's pretty lonely too.
8djht8 19
How can you say violated and prince charming together? You either fell in love with a homeless (desperate), or think your better than people who are less well off (asshole). Either way you're responsible for your actions.
gordjess1 19
Why are people saying to get over it? If someone feels violated they're allowed. They didn't say it was because he's homeless. I wouldn't want anyone I didn't know kissing my hand either but I guess it depends on the person. Not everyone is comfortable with it!