Love: Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 10 923

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 16 142

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 556

You deserved it 7 666

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 723

You deserved it 24 971

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 297

You deserved it 5 061

By couldntholdit - 12/07/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 23 959

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 11 914

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 755

You deserved it 6 673

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 833

You deserved it 5 153

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 340

You deserved it 2 811

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 996

JackRocksSoSuckI 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:01

lol haha that's funny

bustyboi 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:03

that blows!

Comments

paul924 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:20

that's probley the funniest FML ever! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

topbanana 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:21

you should have looked at him weird and pretended he did it haha

Joey7361 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:21

that was one stupid conclusion... srsly how is spanking a girl a sign that the guy owns her?obviously you havn't had any in a while.

Starchild21 3

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:23

Wait was this like a little squeaky fart or was it like an elephant? Haha Peter Griffin =) __________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

Anteezy 7

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:24

If you are hot he doesn't mind. At least he smacked your ass ;d

Mac10nikka 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:24

true dat Joey hahaha

blademaster23 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:25

he must have been going for someone else but u got ur fat ass in tge way and hrme missed, so dont flater ur self!!!!!!!

GiganTronic 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:48

Flater? Hrme? Tge? Really? Seriously? I've seen better typing on YOUTUBE comments, for chrissakes.

boog_fml 7

Tuesday 2 March 2010 3:10

80 wins [=

SkyBug91 5

Tuesday 7 February 2012 2:06

F u

Polichetti 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:25

there she blows

KyleSays1 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:32

r u sexy?

xxnotstephencolb 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:34

that's cute:]

Keywords

Video games Annoying Gamers Cute Birthday Money Kids Love Health Weird Awkward Relatable Abuse Scams Social Media Education Parents School Teenagers Anger issues Family Miscellaneous Relationship advice Capitalism Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 127

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

The Top

Today, my daughter discovered that her Venus Fly Trap will not eat pieces of ripped-up scrap paper. Also today, I discovered that my daughter can't tell the difference between scrap paper and my monthly paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 480

You deserved it 3 056

Today, I dropped my father-in-law's friend off at the airport, and I got in trouble because he ended up missing his flight. He only missed it because he forgot to check in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 817

You deserved it 804

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard, as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line, "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 249

You deserved it 22 826

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 29 760

Today, I got told off at work for not saying hello to someone in the corridor.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 143

Today, I was arrested for kidnapping a child. MY child. Do you know how hard it is as a white man to convince a police officer that a latino toddler screaming, "Stranger danger!" is yours? FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 650

You deserved it 424

Same thing different taste

An attempt was made

Top comments

Comments