By helprelou - 29/06/2016 22:12 - France - La Chevroli?re

Today, a guy who likes me a little too much, and who I asked to tone his advances down a little, sent me a message on Twitter, Facebook and by text message to apologize. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 398
You deserved it 1 032

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That sucks, OP. I mean, how could he forget to email?

Comments

Maybe it's time to go from "tone down" to "cease".

psh that man is lying he not truly sorry tell he sends toy at least 100 pigeons with apology notes attached to them.

Maybe he just wanted to make sure you got it so you know he's sorry.

He could just be socially incompetent. He probably just likes you and wants to make sure that you know, and possibly feeling rejected could make him want to do anything to try to get you back.

LAURA_EL_JUICE 6

That is scary!! Sometimes even being nice is not enough to keep weidos out, keep safe, steer clear of him for your own safety.

Sounds to me like you're not interested in the guy. If that's the case then why would you tell him to "tone it down?" You should just say you're not interested instead of beating around the bush.

I love it when guys try to tell women what we "should" do in situations like this as if it is just women being coy rather than (some) guys handling rejection in a scary or violent manner that ruin it for the rest of you.

Actually, as a woman, I was wondering about the same thing. I don't know the entire situation, so I'm not trying to insist my way is the correct way, but I am curious as to why OP said "tone down" his advances instead of asking him to stop. If a guy is pursuing me and I'm not interested, I will politely say no. I won't ask him to change his approach. I wouldn't want to give the impression that if he changes his strategy I'll somehow suddenly change my mind. I understand wanting to be polite, but I think clarity is important too. That being said, we don't know the full story, so there could be plenty of things at play here that explain OP's choice of words.

OP probably said to "tone it down" to avoid hurting his feelings. If I were them I would've said the same thing

On the contrary #20, I agree with #19. I'm a bi male, and I follow the philosophy of saying what you mean, flat out. If OP doesn't like this guy, he should tell him. OP is indeed being rather coy with her vagueness.

Nobody wants to hurt other people's feelings, but it's better to tell the truth and just say what you're thinking. You don't need to sugar coat everything for people. That's why we have so many people that feel entitled to shit. No one ever told them how it really is.

Also, #20, this has nothing to do with being a man or a woman. It's called having respect for other people and just saying how you feel. If OP was a dude I would say the exact same thing.

Their point is some men react aggressively to being rejected so many women try to reject people in a less straightforward way out of fear for their safety.

Maybe OP is interested but thinks he's being to needy and over-bearing, which makes OP uncomfortable. Then it makes sense that OP asked him to "tone it down" rather than to telling him to stop.

He might have been trying to make sure you got the message because he is now planning to stop his advances but wants you to know he is sorry

That's incredibly creepy. Warning: this probably won't get better.

don't get yourself worked up about it OP, unless he really starts stalking you, why worry, he probably just wanted to be sure you get his apologies within a reasonable timespan so you know what he's apologizing for, hence the different social media, I'm guessing he doesn't know you well and can't be sure how often you go on Fb or Twitter or whatever.. If he continuously writes you after this and doesn't accept that you are not interested, you can always block him off, so don't worry OP

This isn't an FML, it's happened to me like 3 times at least. Except one time a guy asked me out and after it being the millionth time I said no he messaged me the same thing on two other social media apps. Way worse than just an apology

InfiniteSecret 20

Just because this happened to you doesn't mean it isn't a Fml.