Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

Today, a guy started complimenting me and calling me beautiful. Halfway through, he burst out laughing and said he couldn't do it. Who needs self confidence, anyway? FML

Assface

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML

Rare insults corner

Today, a little girl came up to me and told me I looked like a foot. Thanks a bunch, darling. FML

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

Oh no…

Today, a woman told me she liked my shoes. My social anxiety peaked so I panicked and said, “You too!” She wasn’t wearing shoes. FML

Carpe Diem

Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML

Today, I was talking to a really cute guy. He leaned closer and I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he leaned back, laughed and said, "Wow. You're growing a mustache." FML