Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Timing is everything

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 965

You deserved it 3 400

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Not now

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 190

You deserved it 2 617

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 439

You deserved it 7 679

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 773

You deserved it 3 777

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 218

You deserved it 5 168

By RingAroundThe..SPLAT - 16/05/2012 04:10 - United States - Washington

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I was in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 2 879

By dollfacee - 09/07/2015 16:51 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 641

You deserved it 2 344

By Cinnamon - 18/07/2011 00:04 - Jamaica

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 185

You deserved it 4 361

Crushed

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, I appreciated how much my older sister is engaged and fully appreciative of how wonderful my girlfriend is… until my girlfriend told me that she has a huge crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 4 087

No thanks

By SadIndianLife - 15/11/2015 21:00 - India - Delhi

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 463

You deserved it 2 250

ByronJess 17

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

That makes you wonder exactly why she was still letting you sleep with her...

cjcstuart 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:46

Please tell me you pulled out...

Comments

irishman1989 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:27

Ah gross

Slikpirate 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:34

Lol That awkward moment when...

s10biker 1

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:09

Been there buddy. Women are horrible

arvale8802 1

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:15

rugby44_fml 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:34

Maybe she likes inbreeding?

CRC_101 31

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:52

That pretty much tops the "This Is Some Messed Up Shit" list. Sorry. I'm so, so sorry... o.o ...

EduJav321 24

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:00

... Thats kinky...

kei1108 13

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:09

Eww... That is disturbing for infinite reasons..

BikeAllDay818 6

Saturday 28 January 2012 8:36

I know how you feel OP. -____-

edward123456789 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 9:02

Eww

Keywords

Video games Gamers Love Gross Weird Health First Dates Smells Technology Parents Kids Annoying Jealousy Dogs Animals AITA Pranks Dreams Family Geek Relatable Gun control Amazon Money Cute Birthday Awkward Abuse Scams Social Media

The Top

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 340

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 455

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 205

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 669

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I have a degree in electrical engineering, my wife was doing a crossword and asked me what are the units of capacitance, I couldn't remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 074

You deserved it 9 101

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 347

You deserved it 3 575

Today, my wife’s business has failed in its first year. She blames the government, despite me telling her no one is going to work for her when she only offers minimum wage, one week unpaid vacation, two months maternity and one week paternity, no overtime rates, and a pay-to-use staff car park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 170

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 732

You deserved it 37 710