Transportation, Airplanes, Terrible joke and Love: Timing is crucial in comedy

Timing is crucial in comedy

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 063

You deserved it 4 216

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Same thing different taste

By huj - 25/09/2010 21:49 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 079

You deserved it 4 310

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 872

You deserved it 3 164

By preggersss - 19/07/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 627

You deserved it 17 208

Flight from hell

By MDoremis - 28/08/2016 19:24 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while flying home, two little girls started chanting, "We're all going to die." I'm an extremely anxious flyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 701

You deserved it 1 088

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 06:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend shared with me his anxiety about death, so I shared with him one of my ridiculously irrational fears. He thought I was making fun of him and now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 940

You deserved it 5 618

Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 146

By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 747

You deserved it 3 725

By rollerSWEETness - 03/06/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 823

You deserved it 15 830

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 18:25 - United States

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 194

You deserved it 36 630

True, but come on…

By scared to leave the house - 20/08/2012 09:14 - Canada - Williams Lake

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer… until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 204

You deserved it 2 418

ChelseaXD 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:01

What a dick.

sammieheart 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:21

tell him that's not what his boss said.

Comments

Nyc__Princess 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:34

He IS your husband right ?

Aniblecoby 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:41

hahaha 22!!!!

deformedsurf 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:45

He could have only married OP because he got her pregnant. Or OP could have gone on a diet of snickers bars and diet Coke when after the wedding.

bluekiwi_fml 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:45

ppl change over time

CreateZ 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:47

So I'm guessing pretty people have finally discovered immortality?

WickedWendigoX 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:48

right then and there shout "decorve!!"

corytheboss 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 19:53

decorve???

sinjax 6

Saturday 29 October 2011 18:52

dyslexic?

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:49

So did fear turn to anger? Awe, what a sweet husband. He was just trying to distract you from being scared. I bet it worked.

starile 19

Saturday 16 October 2010 19:52

smart!

DocBastard 38

Saturday 16 October 2010 16:58

To all the little kids telling OP to divorce, you clearly have no idea what it means to be married. This maybe why the divorce rate is so high. So go back to your PSP or MoH or WoW or whatever it is that you kids do in your parents' house and leave the serious discussion to the grownups.

CreateZ 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 17:07

Couldn't agree more. What the hell is MoH?

anorexicbarbie 8

Saturday 16 October 2010 17:25

Medal of Honor, aka a better game than cod.

xXSillyLoveXx 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 17:38

so true even, if im just a teen I know how serious it is

DocBastard 38

Saturday 16 October 2010 17:47

Weird- my "may be" mysteriously turned into "maybe."

snowboarder25 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 18:06

moh is weak compared to cod !!

yanksby7 6

Saturday 16 October 2010 19:36

Ok, I'm an adult who is telling her to get a divorce. It sounds like that is, at the very least, an emotionally abusive relationship. If he is that disrespectful to the woman he CHOSE to be with, I can't imagine how he treats his kids. I'll agree that people get divorced too readily these days, but this seems like a very unhealthy relationship that should be ended immediately. OP, time for you to gtfo.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 16 October 2010 20:07

#82, you are an adult who apparently doesn't understand what marriage should be if you think one sarcastic comment equals abuse and therefore divorce. It IS possible he is always rude but I personally like sourgirl's take on it. I could easily see my husband saying something to distract me from my fear. I agree with Doc.