Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Maybe it was the worst shit ever?
Mirorbo 27
Either young ladies' standards are getting too high, or they themselves are becoming too shallow.
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Comments (122)
RealChinese 7
Maybe she was talking about her poo
Imapean19 4
Put boogers in her food and tweet about it afterwards
Imapean19 4
Nobody likes a wet blanket, #33.
mrahhhhh 21
I know there's a character limit on Twitter, but for God's sake, couldn't she have been more specific?
Deathhound 27
That's exactly what I thought.
heyred 11
When she came out, I hope that you showed her the feed and called it a night. Sadly, common courtesy is NOT common.
thehoneybadger 10
I would have left before she came back, and tweeted back, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Kayokku 1
Maybe she was talking about the movie. *crosses fingers* But probably not. :( One thing you can do to call her on it while still trying to appear gentlemanly is to tell her that you honestly thought things were going well, and then ask her how he can make the rest of the date better for her.
hebron77 0
I like the way you think.
swtrpt 2
Shoud have left her the check haha
jerico616 14
Women are evil! Just get used to it.
hannahcozzolino 0
Maybe she meant like worst ever she got her period and didn't have a tampon?