Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
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Top comments
deviable 9
Maybe it was the worst shit ever?
Mirorbo 27
Either young ladies' standards are getting too high, or they themselves are becoming too shallow.
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Comments (122)
MonkeyGirl17844 0
Wow... That really sucks... I'm sorry for you
austinwyke 2
The movie probably sucked.
muhilrashid 4
Sorry man
indecisive1 1
If it actually read "Worst. Ever", it could mean 'worst period ever'. Maybe she was so upset about it because she wanted some first-date action
GetPuckedUp 3
tweet and say "on a date with some ugly chic, cant wait til its over"
Gemmy_44 7
Was it really necessary to Tweet while she was in the bathroom? About a date that wasn't even over yet? Is pissing that boring that she needed to get on the phone and let everyone know about her night? People are getting really carried away with the Facebook and Twitter shit. Used to be tacky to use your phone in the crapper, now I see more people carrying them in than a newspaper.
Sweet_Lemonade 4
I would have been very tempted to just leave and stick her with the check followed by my own tweet "She couldn't wait for end of date, I couldn't wait to leave"
HomeAl0ne 20
Worst ever? Some people have led such sheltered lives. Was she filmed by some game cam giving head in a driveway? Did she end up duct taped to a ceiling with her face covered in clown paint? No, probably he just doesn't know her favourite ice cream flavour.
sleepindevil 15
Maybe she was taking a dump? Constipation or diarrhoea can be a bitch.
trskln 1
Perhaps she was simply referring to her bowel movement....