Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
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Top comments
Fedor_is_KING 0
Well, did you pick up any tips?
txdiva 0
Did learn anything??!!!
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Comments (242)
guyberryman 0
WIN :D
97090370 0
can someone tell me, how do u give one. use step by step.
SerenaChaos805 0
well if you really dont want to suck the balls... You can suck his dick... theres a vein type thing on the underside and if you press you tounge against that it makes them go wild and you can use the other hand to basicly give a hand job so you can use one hand on the bottom and go to opposite way you are sucking..... that usually feels good.. and with the other hand you can massage the balls... just sucks some what hard but not to hard.... they like it when you lick all over also :P and the tip is nice to suck on too (: and always swallow... who cares if it taste bad get over it... man up... and swallow cause its already in your mouth you already have the taste might as well.. also its good protein (: haha Oh you can also gently use your teeth to rub up against it but barely.. just so they can barely feel it (: ive been told ive given the best head they have ever had (: ive never been told i was bad soooo take my advice (:
purplemnm 9
...you look 14...what a shame...:/ I feel bad
maskedman 9
I thought you sounded a little cocky at first but now I want you to adopt me.
perdix 31
YDI for texting when you should have been using the voice record function to capture that golden knowledge verbatim! If any of those girls knew what they were talking about, you could totally pwn your bf's ass.
sxychik 4
^^^ this! :D
SLIPKNOT_795 0
LMFAOROFL!!!! ;)
ScoobyDoo92 0
I know it's the typical guy response. but.. a good ******* makes a happy man.... **** being fed to keep me happy i think any man with a decent waistline would agree.
perdix 31
So the MILF can have access to her adopted son's little cocky?
Kockdiesel 0
how is this a FML?
sugarlumps182 0
haha ur bfs awesome
snipersdelight 0
yea so did you learn anything?
twilight_0118 0
wow, what an asshole!!
Greyavenger19 0
no we r men and not gay little sparkly vampires like u wish. and yeah YDI for txting durring a movie I cannot tell you how dumb is when I pay 9 bucks to see a movie and some dumb chick keeps txting