Intimacy: Teaching moment

Teaching moment

By ohno - 10/03/2010 11:05 - United States

Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

agreeclassic 15 394

vote type 1 29 730

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By aranya - 14/06/2012 22:51 - Netherlands - Hengevelde

Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 15:43 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML

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By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

agreeclassic 55 762

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In transit

By Kens - 20/05/2009 00:51 - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

agreeclassic 30 365

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By HouseMdFangirl - 10/08/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

agreeclassic 17 768

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By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

agreeclassic 35 059

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The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 8 696

vote type 1 30 732

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

agreeclassic 524

vote type 1 122

Betrayal

By frankfukhergood - 09/07/2009 05:49 - Canada

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

agreeclassic 56 135

vote type 1 3 354

Shut up

By anon - 04/05/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML

agreeclassic 9 771

vote type 1 105 133

Fedor_is_KING 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Well, did you pick up any tips?

txdiva 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:04

Did learn anything??!!!

Comments

AndyTwin2 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:51

that's so not cool..

hedgerow 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:54

he probably didn't imply you suck at BJs. just to be sure, try harder and more often, lol

sparkey0127 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 16:56

bahaha you suck at sucking

Ecnassianer 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:04

YDI for not giving good blow jobs.

Ecnassianer 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:07

Aw man, 42 already said that. Never mind.

BooHaUrScared 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:07

NO CELL PHONES IN THE MOVIE THEATER!!!!!!!!!

sxychik 4

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:20

haha

ksharp 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:08

ahahaha win

razorp 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:12

heres a tip, more tongue less teeth

Basballplaya16 4

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:30

well I guess u suck well I guess u don't but then again you do just your not food at it. hope you learned something.

cabbagez 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:41

... WAT

lovemycowboys 3

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:32

sounds like something DH would say! lol

ChopGoneWild 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 17:40

apparently u are not satisfying him

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my aunt keeps calling me to come and settle her baby for her, because I’m the only one she sleeps for. Seriously, she’ll sleep for hours when I hold her, but anyone else and she’ll scream. I don’t even like kids and the constant disruptions to my childfree life aren’t helping change my opinion. FML

agreeclassic 504

vote type 1 103

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

agreeclassic 23 888

vote type 1 2 118

Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML

agreeclassic 29 274

vote type 1 3 695

Today, I found out when meeting her that my uncle has a girlfriend who is half his age. She's worse than a toddler; she started begging and crying for chocolate in the middle of a car ride. FML

agreeclassic 910

vote type 1 88

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

agreeclassic 40 676

vote type 1 3 731

Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML

agreeclassic 5 622

vote type 1 395