Today, I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were three girls loudly discussing blowjob techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was, "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
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Top comments
Fedor_is_KING 0
Well, did you pick up any tips?
txdiva 0
Did learn anything??!!!
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Comments (242)
manderrzzbabyy 0
so what'd ya learrrn?
hatesvegans 0
how many times do I have to say it, god hates straight people, all heil the master race. down with the dirty vegan Jews
purplemnm 9
oooogh burn! I think he was just joking but that's epic.
Rimaa_fml 0
Lool while go sit beside them and learn. So you can impress your man. Women!!
Dazzozo 0
Man, some of these FMLs. OP, ever thought your boyfriend was _joking_? New concept, I know.
finndizzle 0
snickers hasn't commented yet...
ThuhBoss 0
She's on Google trying to figure out what it means. Hahahah
lickmyjock 0
lmao owned
Ruddskies 0
ya I know thank god. she doesn't realize how stupid she sounds. stupid bitch
gregsdaman 0
good!!!
switchbladehooli 0
lol
CharliePoops 0
YDI for giving bad ******** girl...
purplemnm 9
he's 7 and 3/4!
lickmyjock 0
I had a girl stop sucking my dick to start sucking on my nipples. it was awkward and nasty with my hairy chest.
flufffypants 0
for a man named lickmycock I'd imagine it would be
perdix 31
Balls! Girls seem to miss out on the fact that right next to the **** they are playing with are treasures of pleasure. You apply your fingers, lips, tongue (and very carefully, teeth) to his testicles, and you are going to take him to new levels. Warning: All the lingo equating the balls with toughness are ironic in the extreme. These are exceptionally sensitive organs so start very gently. I never understood why the term "sucks balls" means a bad thing.
lickmyjock 0
getting the hands and tongue involved is a must. swallowing is the most important part. also, if he's about to cum, keep going, don't dare stop, even when he does get off, keep going a bit.
sxychik 4
I never forget the balls.
perdix 31
sxychik, that's great! Now, all you have to do is go to movies and talk about it loudly so the ignorant girls might learn from your wisdom;)
sxychik 4
will do! :)
boslice93 0
sxychik ur amazing lmao
sxychik 4
haha
purplemnm 9
....**** puppet?! 0_o