Pranks, Wanker and Intimacy: Tanned

Tanned

By caughtorangehanded - 01/10/2010 22:12 - United States

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

agreeclassic 20 941

vote type 1 46 353

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

agreeclassic 10 981

vote type 1 50 629

Good one, you little shit

By WalkingTalkingCarrot - 27/06/2011 02:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my 15 year-old brother, visiting me for the weekend, thought it would be a great idea to switch my expensive moisturiser for fake tan cream. I'm going to work in 12 hours. I'm fluorescent orange. FML

agreeclassic 35 075

vote type 1 5 126

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

agreeclassic 39 518

vote type 1 3 060

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

agreeclassic 28 155

vote type 1 5 962

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

agreeclassic 9 590

vote type 1 40 001

By Metime - 05/11/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML

agreeclassic 7 681

vote type 1 33 515

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

agreeclassic 42 079

vote type 1 6 744

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

agreeclassic 13 595

vote type 1 51 130

Roommates from hell, part 4874

By Ohgodithurts - 19/10/2020 11:00

Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML

agreeclassic 1 661

vote type 1 169

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

agreeclassic 448

vote type 1 328

untoward 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 1:05

well if your masturbating so much, probably no one is seeing your penis anyway

katieebabyy 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 1:06

carrot crotch!

Comments

Tamaracboy15 0

Wednesday 6 October 2010 13:53

And THAT's why god put women on this great planet of ours. So we dnt all look like sex-craved oompa-loompas

TeenieAmerica 9

Wednesday 6 October 2010 14:04

What's with all the people saying YDI for not getting any? People who ********** have sex. I mean, I thought most dudes masturbated. And so what if he's not getting any. Not necessarily his fault. Maybe he's ugly. You can't help it if you're ugly. That's genetics, man.