Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
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Top comments
nmsm 1
why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.
dixieboo 0
Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???
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Comments (218)
MissRoxiie 12
119 is right lol
pinkribbon22 0
you should have gotten paid extra or made them clean it up
corbett06 3
a yard rake does wonders
Immatheprez 0
why would you need extra pay ;)
MilkShakez 0
was this the first time you have seen boobies?
jrod45 0
the correct term would be shreds not shards. paper can't be in shards.
Surferbro 5
why would you waste your time doing that go catch a wave
Stupend0us 7
And then you jizzed in your pants...
GabbyCharityM 0
Win.
BraciIsKindaCool 0
Why would he forget that in his yard? Most guys couldn't keep there eyes off that for over ah minute. Well considering you didn't put the pieces back together.. Good Job dude :)
guitarman1998 0
today I changed my birthday
sweetcheeksjvl 0
it doesn't matter 1998 kinda gives you away
guitarman1998 0
I meant to search that, not make it a comment :/