Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I was emptying a bag of grass from my lawn mower when I saw pieces of what used to be a 50 dollar bill. FML
Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML
Today, I found the $3,200 engagement ring I dropped in my yard. I ran over it with my lawnmower. FML
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
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Top comments
nmsm 1
why would he leave something like that in his yard. weirdo.
dixieboo 0
Who said your neighbor was Jiraya???
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Comments (218)
doom2 8
that's odd he just left it in his yard, but how did you not see it before you ran it over?
johnnyredcorn 5
That's what I was thinking.
SilentTreatment 7
Well at least you made it rain with pictures of naked woman, lol.
kendallhi 9
LMAO
johnnythreetears 2
saying you did that is worth the time picking it up!
IndigoFuckYou 9
Boner while doing chores? doesn't sound that bad.
nlr 9
ummmm.... why would anyone read that better yet who would buy that?
missbreann 0
you're ignorant.
nlr 9
how am I ignorant?!
IndigoFuckYou 9
Because you asked that question. Quite a lot of men ********** to playboy. This particular wanker just made the mistake of leaving it on his lawn.
The_Moustache 6
...
nlr 9
its still stupid and gross and very unneeded
FireSphinx 5
you are ignorant because you expect people not to buy or look at it . your a child , grow up
FireSphinx 5
**you're
nlr 9
I'm not a child! I'm 17!
FireSphinx 5
then act your age and stop pretending that people don't watch/read **** . grow up
m0rgana 0
I agree with ya nlr it's disgusting that people actually look at that smut.
chlorinegreen 27
Then start acting like it. Who are you to judge what other people do miss.17 year old?
m0rgana 0
to you people calling her a child. your the child we have freedom of speech she can say what ever the heck she wants!
dudeitsdanny 10
^Just because she can doesn't mean she should. Freedom of speech implies freedom to STFU. And freedom to tell her to stfu.
johnnythreetears 2
maybe miss 17 year old is angry because she can't get a guy and is jealous that men would rather whack off to a magazine than with her. sounds like low self esteem to me
alex6946 10
127 thats rude she has a right to say whatever she wants, i find **** disgusting too but i dont give a damn if other people like to look at it, i dont care its their OPINION, everyone has one, get used to it people..!
mk58 31
To be honest, I'd rather guys buy these magazines over them paying hookers for sex, because that's just nasty. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and everyone also has the right to say what they want, regardless of age.
sweetcheeksjvl 0
geez who knew people were so defensive about ****.take a freaking chill pill..
Person1233 13
How do you not see a magazine before it hits the mower? YDI for being blind and mowing the lawn anyway.
missbreann 0
**** that
nlr 9
you called ME ignorant and your busy cussing... I think your the ignorant one.
Alexitis1 3
lol# 32 is butthurt about your comment xD
nlr 9
even though I don't know what that means because I'm innocent minded... I'm gonna say I am not!
IndiRae 9
If you're so 'innocent minded' I'm gunna go ahead and say FML is not the place for you.
nlr 9
I know half the stuff people talk about other things not so much... so it doesn't matter if I'm on fml or not
IndigoFuckYou 9
My dear, you're ignorance is worrying me. If you're seventeen and you're still a stranger to all the 'gross' aspects of sex...well. then you're ******.
EatUp 0
u mean not ******... with that kind of ignorance she won't be getting shit.
sweetcheeksjvl 0
72 I agree. 52 there's a lot of things about life that you need to learn,there are 12 year olds that have seen,done and even know more than you and thats sad.Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's right. Maybe you need to break out of your shell and open your eyes,or maybe your parents have overprotected you a little too much.Reality is sweetie as holy as you try to be if that's what your trying be you never will be. So experience life a little and be a little more open-minded to life.
jess6blondie9 3
nlr; If you didn't know what ignorant means, why the **** are you trying to insult someone with it. Here. Ignorant: Lacking knowledge or education, unaware. Her cussing does NOT make her ignorant. Do your research before you make yourself look dumb.
MrSexyPants 14
Is your neighbor named Quagmire?
condom101 0
why would you do that just leave the scraps alone
unluckiestperson_fml 14
You got to see naked woman for an hour. Why are you complaining?!
FireSphinx 5
getting to see little pieces of tit was your extra pay