Break-ups and Love: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Wow - 04/09/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 410

You deserved it 3 339

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 3 503

Confused?

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, after a day spent together, the police came to my girlfriend's place, telling me to leave without explanation. I'm now at a hotel, discovering she made false, negative statements about me in papers they provided. Despite recent love and commitment, it seems she wants to break up, leaving me confused and alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 111

Bad boys bad boys

By FuturePolice - 23/01/2012 09:56 - United States

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." She then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 934

You deserved it 3 591

Weird dude of the day

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend found the airtag I'd stuck under her car. The police were called and she kicked me out of her apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 2 701

By Anonymous - 13/05/2015 17:20 - Canada - Qu?bec

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 939

You deserved it 2 772

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

What the F, lady?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 183

You deserved it 2 499

Who the **** are you?

By fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck - 13/07/2013 17:33 - United States - Enfield

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 364

You deserved it 4 151

By Brad - 08/03/2009 05:33 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157 353

You deserved it 7 528

By WrongPlaceWrongTime - 25/06/2016 18:51 - France

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 356

You deserved it 821

hazelwolfeyes 0

Friday 4 September 2009 9:15

What the hell?! what a ******* coward... :( you deserve better than that piece of shit...

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 4 September 2009 9:17

Tell them she's dealing Special K out of her dorm.

Comments

JuicyCheeks 5

Saturday 5 September 2009 1:24

wow...wat a bitch!!

tballer33 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 5:06

wow!!!! that sucks ass....but that was original. gotta give her props...sorry :/

DomyDamsy 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 7:48

sue for defimation of charector

swedishgirl_fml 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 16:47

What a bith! That suck! Sorry dude :)

Annecyx3Katy 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 0:33

what an extravagant way to break up.

daixin 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 2:14

That is amazing you girlfriend well i guess now ex is really smart and by the way. We are all rolling about this at school. lol

ttuwmasian 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 3:48

that is an amazing idea and so much fun to do. personally, i can't stand campus cops, but they do have some useful applications ;)

Gavik 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 5:57

blow me

Treece 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:48

What a Bish...

theatregeek6 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 22:48

Have you ever considered that you are really creepy and she was scared?!?!

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Birthday Money Cute Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 119

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 424

The Top

Today, I bought a massive new puzzle to take my mind off of things. Hours later, I realized there was a missing piece. Frustrated, I looked everywhere for it, only to discover it was stuck to the bottom of my shoe, and I'd been walking around with it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 128

Today, my girlfriend is so stubborn, she refuses to admit she hates the dog she insisted she had to have 6 months ago. I also hate dogs, so I told her everything dog-related was her problem, especially the pee/poop. Everyone knows she hates the dog but she still refuses to rehome it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 343

Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 153

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 251

You deserved it 277

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 9 228

Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 542

You deserved it 8 273