Intimacy: Sucker

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 283

You deserved it 59 640

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 891

You deserved it 5 197

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 660

You deserved it 55 812

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 2 941

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 231

You deserved it 8 728

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 404

You deserved it 1 288

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 009

You deserved it 6 798

Drunken rampage

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 993

You deserved it 71 747

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 850

You deserved it 8 409

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 214

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 437

You deserved it 50 507

jsprackman 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Genius

BunnySlippers 6

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Lol. Why would you put a vaccum even CLOSE to your balls?

Comments

amazingamelia 4

Friday 2 March 2012 0:28

great idea. clearly worked out according to plan.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Friday 2 March 2012 0:29

That's pretty funny. I am sorry for your pain, but it's still hilarious.

kerrwoof 13

Friday 2 March 2012 0:30

I don't understand why you wouldn't shave your balls in the shower. Dry shaving is NOT the way to go!

marinus_fml 19

Friday 2 March 2012 1:19

What limb is your profile pic of? I can't work it out.

oliviaalexandria 3

Friday 2 March 2012 2:56

that is side boob lol.. not a limb.

iFizzgig 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:34

Testicular mega hickey

SuperMeLiSsA97 6

Friday 2 March 2012 0:36

I know I'm not a guy .. But i'm pretty sure I wouldn't do that ;p

JustDerpin 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:36

At least you'll still be sexy for whoever you want to be sexy for.. ;)

gonad_gobbler 1

Friday 2 March 2012 0:43

similar thing happened to me, see i was shaving my balls and once i was done i noticed a lot of wrinkles, so i got my iron and...

bunniex1 11

Friday 2 March 2012 4:52

I burst put laughing when I read this u r a funny person

LVblondie 3

Friday 2 March 2012 5:18

.....I really hope that you are just kidding.... If so then that was funny :) if not......

fanalee 10

Monday 5 March 2012 20:28

LMFAO!!

SweetPerfectionn 3

Friday 2 March 2012 0:47

Should've just rinsed it off, man. Even If you just took a shower, a quick rinse wouldn't hurt.

Jeffers123 5

Friday 2 March 2012 1:02

Is There Something Wrong With You?

annika99 0

Friday 2 March 2012 1:07

do it in the shower lol

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 106

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 237

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, I put something up for sale online. I provided all pertinent information in the description, and I had about a dozen replies. From the questions they asked, I have to conclude that NONE of those people actually read the description. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 67

Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 61

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 446

You deserved it 74 933

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 330

You deserved it 535

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 754

You deserved it 3 426

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 830

You deserved it 3 289