Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Smart kid. She seems like the responsible sort.
flockz 19
scotch tape isn't safe enough. as her mother i hope you suggested duct tape.
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Comments (203)
guy24 9
Um? Who cares? This is not an FML
ThespisTx 3
Judging by your reaction to a 5th grader having an innocent kiss, you're also someone who doesn't believe in Sex-Ed. That's why your child's so confused.
ambrosia110 3
That's just hilarious.
RockNRollAndrew 18
I'm 12 soon to be 13 . And I have never had a GF or a first kiss . Goddamnit
anonymous1604_fml 19
Hey at least she knows to use protection
kybon 12
And just sit there and think to yourself that you raised a responsible, if not slightly uneducated on sex-ed child. But hey, at least shes not pregnant at 11 like some kids these days
iraisadumbass 14
I had my "first kiss" when I was 11. I still knew better than to risk getting pregnant. Everyone stop saying how one innocent kiss is going to ruin her life. It is cute.
Ethan11170 2
I wonder where she got this idea from?