Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML
Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
lolol182 4
ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came
Socrates_fml 0
how did you answer/what happened?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (414)
invindia93 0
LMFAO!
wowfmlife 0
obviously not
bigcrazymike 6
#16 - Exactly!
genki008 0
more importantly, does she believe in a second coming?
yaikwhed 6
best pun on here right thar.
crudeandrudeguy 29
By far one of the best comments I've ever read
cadenernest 0
Hahaha, what a great way to keep a guy from busting in your mouth. Evil, but effective. I mean, I swallow, I don't care. But, there are few more vial tastes than the taste of semen. It's like bleach met buckleys and they decided to make little sea-men together (pardon the pun, I couldn't help it)
annalou_fml 0
"I mean, I swallow, I don't care. But, there are few more vial tastes than the taste of semen." First of all, if you don't like semen, why are you swallowing it? Leave it to those of us who enjoy it. Clearly the semen you've had has been from some nasty dicks, because semen tastes wonderful, and you are missing out on the good stuff. I don't know what "buckleys" is, but I'd also like to know how you know what bleach tastes like? Either way, I'm fairly positive that if the semen you are consuming tastes anything like bleach... it's not really a good thing to be swallowing. In any case, semen is a reward that you don't really deserve. Learn to enjoy what your man gives you.
KingHumanity 0
Will you marry me?
gritz3 0
Hahaha! wow, that's ******* halarious!
freyjaspassion 0
The taste of semen largely depends on the mans diet. If he eats shitty food and lots of red meat, it tastes terrible. Vegetarians typically have the best tasting semen. So, dump your meat eating bf and go find a vegetarian and taste the difference!
ihailcommunism2 0
I love you..marry me please..I want you forever <333
depotst 0
Are you single?????
ihailcommunism2 0
ahah it was a joke dude -.-
cstetchman 0
I'm vegetarian ... ;D
redrovaa 0
I wanna date a vegetarian O_o
KinqLeo610 0
Dude i wanna marry you!!!
jasondavis22 1
No, just no.
nanner6206 24
alcoholics! good Lord!-GAG
rachel13_fml 0
Lol. Yeah; I really want to know what you did after that.
alex_vik 0
Well? Do you? Maybe she didn't feel comfortable with blowing an Atheist (or Christian if she's Atheist)...even though she's not really a good Christian if she is.
memegui 0
Sucking dicks doesn't make a person a bad christian.
Piratbox 0
Original Sin means your mere existence makes you a bad Christian. Take heart, however; Jesus loves you so much that he'll save your miserable soul anyway if you remember to believe in him right before you come.
llSgtScopell 0
Every guys worst nightmare. **** blocked by the man himself. Shes a mean one though, I hope you answered yes
chambers3006 0
wow that f'ed agree with #19
JAL_fml 0
What a mood killer!