Intimacy: Spread the word

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

agreeclassic 224 261

vote type 1 35 832

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By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

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By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

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By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

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By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

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By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

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By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

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By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

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lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

ninefuckedlives 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:29

lol #15 I think I'd rather not get head than get blue-balled by a jesus freak.

tehhotness 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:30

rofl 25. And #16 def. You shoulda punched her in the nose and gave her an Angry Dragon

LoveMeTURBO 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:31

wtf...ahahahahaha

ashleighm 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:33

That is clearly the best way to lose a boner, ever.

Aoeu 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:34

OH MY GOD THAT SUCKS. You should've said something along the lines of Satanism, then finished yourself off... in her face, since she was down there anyways.

ponychick405 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:34

what is head?

Selsa_Squirrel 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 8:20

Too young to be on this site. :P

Hogan728 0

Friday 6 April 2012 21:29

If you read the rest of the comments you would know.

tznferrofan 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:35

Agreed@ #37, Jesus would have wanted you to bust in her face anyways.

effliffe 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:36

that's not an FML, that's a funny ******* story. not only did you get head, you have something to talk about. you win

dwights 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:37

lol i really dont know what to say to this besides lol.

Bubs_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:38

What a bitch. Waiting to ask you such an inane question until that precise moment. Usually people who ask that think they're holier-than-thou and that they are clean and pure in the eyes of the lord. So, wouldn't giving you head be, you know, a sin? Oh well, hypocrisy is the name of the game in religion.