By Anonymous - 9/10/2020 08:04

Sounds wholesome…

Today, my grandmother told me that my grandfather was a great man, and that he did a lot for the state of Ohio. When I got home, I googled him. He was the leader of one of the biggest KKK groups in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1460

You deserved it

107

Favorite

Dementia or hate? You decide

Our house, in the middle of our street

No Gods, No Masters

By Debra2005 - United States

Today, I adopted a dog from the local shelter. I put the dog in the car and he was shedding everywhere, but I was ok with that because he was my dog. As I pulled into the parking lot, the dog began to poop in the backseat of my car. When I got him out of the car, he ran off. $100 for him to poop and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47255

You deserved it

10666

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77480

You deserved it

3144

Favorite

By Nublet - United States

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35876

You deserved it

5437

Favorite

By anonymous

Today, my pregnant sister has apparently always loved my boyfriend's name and wants to give it to her child. She expects me to break up with my boyfriend so "it doesn't get weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7939

You deserved it

433

Favorite

By lifedownthegutter - United States - Saint Louis

Today, the lawn I've been devoting all my efforts to saving from a nasty grub infestation isn't going to make it, but apparently the grass I noticed growing in my gutters is doing just fine. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

11156

You deserved it

899

Favorite

By sobusy - United States - Romeoville

Today, I had to listen to my coworker complain about how working 19 hours a week leaves her with no time to go to the doctor and get her bronchitis treated. Meanwhile I work 40 hours a week, as well as doing 18 credit hours at school, and she refuses to cover her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26623

You deserved it

1735

Favorite

By ohsnap - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35672

You deserved it

5694

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27192

You deserved it

3654

Favorite

By Ouch - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10566

You deserved it

26640

Favorite

By wearashirt - United States

Today, I had to take a test that's required to pass the class. The test administor told us that those of us who were wearing hoodies would have to take them off. I would have taken mine off, but I was only wearing a bra underneath. There's no other days I can reschedule the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36921

You deserved it

14408

Favorite

By ex-wife - United States - Boston

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4508

You deserved it

276

Favorite

By It's Something - United States - Toledo

Welcome to retail.

Today, I finally got a new job. Now, instead of dealing with trashy, rude young adults all day, I get to deal with self-entitled, berating old people all day. I'm not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2994

You deserved it

367

Favorite

By random - United States

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23329

You deserved it

3360

Favorite

By Anon - Australia - Brisbane

At the top of desire

Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2064

You deserved it

354

Favorite

By - United States - Ithaca

Today, my first grade student apologized for cutting his bangs off in class, and explained that it was his mom's birthday and he had wanted to make her an origami flower. Out of his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7035

You deserved it

652

Favorite

By Ishowet - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2890

You deserved it

445

Favorite

By flexibleflatulance - United States

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17940

You deserved it

49598

Favorite

By jajaja - Canada

Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML

I agree, your life sucks

64693

You deserved it

4655

Favorite

By UglyFace - United Kingdom

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43149

You deserved it

2635

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a headache when I woke up for school. I had final exams that day, so I took what I thought were 2 advils. They were two sleeping pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19551

You deserved it

27084

Favorite

By MulticoloredSlug - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12316

You deserved it

1377

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51684

You deserved it

10043

Favorite

By cantunhear - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33134

You deserved it

2446

Favorite

By Chef stupid - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13089

You deserved it

2498

Favorite

By Sonakshi - 11/9/2020 13:03 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Detained

Today, I forgot to bring a letter to my secondary school, so I went to detention. I told them it got lost, but it's only when my parents phoned and told them the same thing that they believed it. So I got detention for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1122

You deserved it

194

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after months of dieting, I finally reached my goal weight. Excitedly I told my boyfriend, who gave me a beautiful dress as an early Christmas present. It was a size too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32617

You deserved it

5182

Favorite

By rosie - 8/3/2021 13:59

Communication Breakdown

Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1008

You deserved it

Favorite

By Chin... uh.... - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12721

You deserved it

1484

Favorite

By ihatekids

Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12824

You deserved it

1188

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/4/2021 20:00

Road rage

Today, I was brake-checking a Dodge Charger who was attempting to run me off. It was an undercover police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

283

You deserved it

1489

Favorite

By SkinsCastSelection - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30243

You deserved it

7557

Favorite

By 404: sense not found - United States - San Francisco

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

I agree, your life sucks

62214

You deserved it

7320

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Mount Jackson

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30267

You deserved it

1993

Favorite

By Matt - Australia

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26588

You deserved it

4185

Favorite

By esoog - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15499

You deserved it

48303

Favorite

By dumb - United States

Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75294

You deserved it

4558

Favorite

By jooshuarr - Spain

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37632

You deserved it

4708

Favorite

By yeasty - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44967

You deserved it

4510

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45383

You deserved it

34964

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she believes I "jinxed" her chances of getting the job she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1682

You deserved it

130

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bogrbon | 23

#7943803 - Friday 9 October 2020 16:25

Definitely not a good idea to follow his footsteps into the family business...

By Grizz8831 | 13

#7943767 - Friday 9 October 2020 11:01

well then, he did do a lot for Ohio... not good, but alot... is he by chance your mother's grandfather? because then he would be a "Great" grandfather and your grandmother would be telling the truth... or they are just both super racist.

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7943751 - Friday 9 October 2020 9:49

Well, there were very fine people on both sides. Maybe he made America great the first time?

By Grizz8831 | 13

#7943767 - Friday 9 October 2020 11:01

PenguinPal3017 | 19

#7943893 - Friday 9 October 2020 22:07

CEO of being technically correct

By Bogrbon | 23

#7943803 - Friday 9 October 2020 16:25

Definitely not a good idea to follow his footsteps into the family business...

By Meghan Mayhugh | 5

#7943808 - Friday 9 October 2020 16:53

Hi from Indiana. We don’t have a great history. My actual history teacher in high school was in the KKK. I just hope we get through this.

By tounces7 | 27

#7943847 - Friday 9 October 2020 19:40

You sure it's even the same person?