Intimacy: Sounds nice

Sounds nice

By sugarbeet - 04/12/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 209

You deserved it 3 945

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
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Same thing different taste

By anon. - 17/11/2015 18:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 814

You deserved it 2 778

By oliverP123 - 22/07/2011 04:11 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 439

You deserved it 4 231

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 861

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 771

You deserved it 6 012

By lalala_hahaha - 23/09/2010 23:18 - France

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 3 065

Hard task

By grossedout - 08/09/2011 06:34 - Reserved

Today, at work, I met a new client for the first time. Apparently he thought it would be a good idea to get drunk beforehand and spend the whole appointment telling me about his 9-inch "drill bit." I have to try and find this guy a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 276

You deserved it 2 564

Make it stop

By firstandlastjob - 13/06/2020 14:11

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, while putting a drip in the back of an elderly patient's hand, he commented that he didn't realise doctors had pierced nipples, but not to worry because he's only in the hospital "for the b*tches". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 499

You deserved it 5 851

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 06:06 - United States

Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 683

You deserved it 3 667

Alpha male behavior

By Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 201

You deserved it 6 612

MsSoulReaper 27

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:17

Just go with it, poor man has no legs and he's drinking his sorrows away :/

sskarma23 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:18

Hey it's the fisherman dude from family guy!

Comments

nolife1200 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:24

nipples

fatalkiss 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 17:30

Chris, that's a terrible word..."nipples".

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:25

I honestly see no problem here unless you dislike nipples.

Kesha_Mei_Ash 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:26

Make him a buttery one. He'll love that.

rttr 18

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:27

That is just WIERD, fyl

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:32

I believe you spelled wired wrong. That's just weird.

Vball6 19

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:16

21- I believe you just spelled weird wrong. That's just weird.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:19

It's almost... as if... I actually had meant to say wired... Hmm..........

Vball6 19

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:30

Oh...-.-'

gpaine 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:31

Me father was a tree!

UrCapsLockOn 12

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:41

we speak no Americanooo :D

lajaynay 15

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:33

Well... Guys generally DO love nipples.

UrCapsLockOn 12

Sunday 4 December 2011 10:43

i love ASSes more ..... *runs back under he's shell*

ninjaniki 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:34

I think he was hinting at something ;D

fatalwish 6

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:37

Could have been a 50 something woman

spuzak 0

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:45

I'm sorry but that us hilarious!

flockz 19

Sunday 4 December 2011 9:48

don't let him escape!! he sounds like The Nippler, the world's most dastardly villain.

Keywords

Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money Suspicious Relatable Cheating AITA Relationship advice Love Weird First Dates Marriage Poopoo peepee Gross Health Mental health Cars Death Parenting Family Kids Miscellaneous Transportation Capitalism My ex Instagram Social Media Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I'd been sat in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars, and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through, I heard a tap on my driver's window. It was a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 258

You deserved it 152 404

Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 299

You deserved it 3 275

Today, I was doing laundry. I went to go grab a couple of detergent pods. Forgetting that I'm 5'3 and the pods are above the industrial-sized washer, I reached for them and fell backwards into a hole where the water from the washer goes. My left leg got soaked in dirt water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 193

Today, I got stoned with the clowns at the birthday party I took my niece to. This is a new low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 996

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 095

You deserved it 2 366

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 366

You deserved it 3 533

Today, I finally got the chance to meet this wonderful guy I met on a dating site. She was very excited to see me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 912

You deserved it 5 596

Sounds nice

Same thing different taste

Hard task

Make it stop

Creepypasta

Alpha male behavior

Top comments

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