Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading." FML
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Top comments
deLongenator 4
Then kick him hard!
HolaJessicaHola 0
Kick hard. Tell him "we want to be sure, right?"
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Comments (198)
xplainphrox 8
To everyone who doesn't believe it could be effective birth control... Maybe they were discussing being NAD KICKED and he said its a form of birth control. I highly doubt the guy is suggesting the gf nut kicks him in the balls to keep her from getting pregnant! Unless of course he did suggest it, so that maybe he will never have kids... Either way - the context of why he said it is MISSING.
perdix 31
Getting kicked in the nuts just right will make you puke, and throwing up is effective birth control. Vomit breath is more effective than abstinence with double condoms.
est000dog 11
Smart man, its true, sad that he is not that smart he can prove that it is right... if blood hits that part in ball that make sperms then that part will never be able to make sperms getting kicked in balls can create minor internal bleeding
waffle3z 6
This is the one exception to the "Doesn't matter, had sex" theory.
andythegreat 0
Hook him up. Seems like that's what he wants. That's not a FML that's a thank you to him for not pro-creating...
andythegreat 0
Sorry I had to come back... Kick him in the balls, that promises you'll never have to have sex with him again, move him to the "I liked us better when we were friends" category, never talk to him again, and in 3 weeks time you'll realize he was a ******* moron and that your life is significantly better now that his stupid hillbilly retarded ass isn't around... I never understood why women do this thing where the date ******* morons and complain about it but don't do anything to help their situation... He's not good enough for you.
desertpunk75 11
Machoistic thing ain't he.
Shanokie 2
Inform him my 2 children are proof it is not. Maybe it just kills male sperm because I have 2 girls lol
mister_jedi55 0
Steve-O gives his silent nod of approval...
SobrietyKills 14
Can't a guy become sterile if he hurts himself too much down there? I recall my health teacher mentioning something like that.