Health, Embarrassing and Work: Sorry Sweaty

Sorry Sweaty

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 12:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 104

You deserved it 9 837

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Same thing different taste

Stress test

By anonymous - 20/10/2010 06:38 - New Zealand

Today, I got so nervous that I actually peed my pants during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 601

You deserved it 13 377

By socianx - 18/08/2013 21:23 - Albania

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 150

You deserved it 5 664

Stick hot mess

By Anonymous - 27/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and, feeling nervous, accidentally knocked over the interviewer's Mountain Dew. Trying to recover, I blurted out, "Don't worry, I'm used to cleaning up messes." The awkward silence that followed made it clear I wouldn't be cleaning up anything in their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 147

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 656

You deserved it 984

Uncomfortable

By bad timing - 03/09/2019 15:01 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, at work, my manager accidentally bumped into me, brushing my behind with the back of his hand. He was a bit embarrassed, so I jokingly said, “You could at least buy me dinner first!” He went to HR and told them I made him uncomfortable. I was just trying to lighten the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 348

By perfecttiming - 06/05/2013 15:25 - United States - San Jose

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 637

You deserved it 4 666

By Roostermann25 - 31/05/2016 01:34 - United States - Lebanon

Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 883

You deserved it 987

Nerves

By ADH2000 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5 year-old for a few seconds. The guy who had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 010

You deserved it 47 472

By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 10:50 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was at a very important meeting with a client and I had to use the bathroom. I was so nervous that I squirted white soap all up my suit jacket. My client walked in and commented on my "jizzy" blazer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 105

You deserved it 2 111

By KN - 25/06/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 882

You deserved it 12 540

Fluffydemise 18

Monday 13 May 2013 16:11

And you got a promotion, right?

emmingle 24

Monday 13 May 2013 16:13

uh-oh. he wasn't too hard on you, was he?

Comments

tilly_a99 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:22

Omg rofl

LolxMe 6

Tuesday 14 May 2013 3:30

Lol

ZeroPath5 16

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:22

@SuperKnuckels I think your comment would have done better if you stuck to the original script...

kthsdm 12

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:46

Now you are CEO

TheTheTruthIs 5

Tuesday 14 May 2013 6:48

You should think before you speak

Shenanigans9 8

Tuesday 14 May 2013 11:25

Superknuckles- rules 1 and 2 ************

brianraythai 3

Tuesday 14 May 2013 18:13

Knees weak, arms are heavy...

icepick23 12

Tuesday 14 May 2013 22:50

It's all good. As long as you're hot, he won't mind. Rather, he was likely very much turned on by your confession.

rita0ral 8

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:13

Wetty

mac8080 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 7:01

Did u wet ur hands sir lol JFK sorry for you

Raivyn_Grimm 9

Thursday 16 May 2013 15:39

JFK got shot, sir. And I fail to see the connection between him and this FML.

Keywords

Sadness Health Lonely Dentist Work Awkward Abuse Parents Miscellaneous Birthday OCD Relatable Mental health Love Cute Cleaning Housework Argument Kids Animals Cats Intimacy Underwear Bikes Camping Friends Vacation Boredom Music Transportation

The Top

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 513

You deserved it 12 728

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 36 910

The Top

Today, I had an argument with my brother after discovering his new Confederate flag tattoo. His main response was, "It's about heritage, not hate!" We're third generation Italians from New Jersey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 138

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 2 106

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 191

You deserved it 6 191

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 358

You deserved it 3 452

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 237

You deserved it 51 232

Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 161