Intimacy, Kids and Sex: Get it on, son

Get it on, son

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 392

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Same thing different taste

By newlywed - 27/02/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 020

You deserved it 13 437

Not feeling it

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 02:01

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 358

No fun

By Blueballzwill - 14/10/2022 02:00

Today, I still haven’t consummated my marriage with my new wife. She said no sex before marriage and I obliged for 2 long years. During our honeymoon, she kept making up excuses. Now when I sit down and talk to her, she calls me a “horny pervert” and accuses me of “using her for sex” and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 512

Just tradwife things

By Fapmaster - 07/01/2023 03:00

Today, after a year and a half of sticking to my new wife’s “no-sex-before marriage” rule while we dated, she brushed me off while I tried to consummate the marriage. Apparently, she’s not ready to have kids yet and “semen will get the sheets dirty.” Guess I’ll be jerking it on my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 753

By Anonymous - 27/03/2013 16:54 - United States

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 108

You deserved it 11 751

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 206

Just once

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 20:00

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 190

By LizP40 - 27/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 970

You deserved it 9 400

By clapping_for_you - 14/12/2018 12:30

Today, in a private discussion, my teenage son confessed to me he finally lost his virginity several weeks ago. Why did he confess? He came to me to ask why it all of a sudden hurts when he pees, and asked if it could have anything to do with it... FML...

I agree, your life sucks 3 215

You deserved it 389

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 02:01

Today, my wife and I used to have sex at least 5 times a week, but since we said "I DO" at our wedding I’m lucky to get a shag once a month, and you can forget about blowjobs, I’ve not had one since before the wedding. Nothing about our life has changed to cause this, except we’re married now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 359

Gubbon 17

Sunday 26 November 2023 23:01

Well... THEIR life sucks.

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 26 November 2023 22:52

Well, they should get to it and find out what they're missing out on!

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 26 November 2023 22:52

Well, they should get to it and find out what they're missing out on!

Gubbon 17

Sunday 26 November 2023 23:01

Well... THEIR life sucks.

SirEnigM0nk 22

Sunday 26 November 2023 23:11

And this is a problem for you because...? I mean, it's better than rushing into intimacy before they are ready.

mechgineer 3

Monday 27 November 2023 2:52

They both might just be asexual.

SylvarLorali 4

Monday 27 November 2023 8:58

Um... thats creepy. Don't do that.

D J's MOM 17

Monday 27 November 2023 12:29

send them a bottle of some good stuff, maybe it'll get them in the mood. no more comments though, it'll happen when they're ready.

lgrave 7

Monday 27 November 2023 15:49

Well, for sure YOU failed in the sexual education of your son.

EricW 4

Thursday 30 November 2023 23:44

ok. just **** the bride to teach them how to proceed

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 962

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend for cheating on me. I refused his calls, so he texted, not to apologize, but to say I'd "left some clothes in his suitcase"; i.e., he stole some of my clothes. When he didn't get the response from me that he was hoping for, he texted, "I'm wearing your shorts." FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 8 533

You deserved it 25 381

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I agree, your life sucks 37 620

You deserved it 12 927

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I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 46

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 10 429

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I agree, your life sucks 20 792

You deserved it 83 359

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 820

You deserved it 2 938