Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went outside for a cigarette since I don't like smoking in the house. When I was done, I stomped it out. I wasn't wearing shoes. FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML
Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML
Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML
Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KarelPhoenix 0
You sir, are an idiot. Smoking kills. Dx
NathanKett 0
1st person is right. I shall wait for the 'I smoked and now I have lung cancer' FML.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (149)
potatopeeler 0
You think that hurt? Wait until your cancer.
Subjectzero 0
nothing needs to be said.
jillz 0
so if you were at work, you'd just throw it on the ground and stamp it out? please stop using the ground as your ashtray/trashcan. the world is not a giant ashtray. people like you are why I see cigarrette butts on the streets, in front of stores, parks, beaches, etc. I wish the wind would come and blow every butt you try to toss straight down your throat. YDI
sjks 0
BECAUSE SMOKING IS THE ONLY THING THAT WILL EVER GIVE YOU CANCER! Guys, everything gives you cancer. Any one living in a city...chances are the air quality is worse than dealing with secondhand smoke every now and then. And i'm sure plenty of you non-smokers don't have perfect diets and exercise daily. I'm sure plenty of you are just as likely to get cancer as a smoker from other things you do in your life, but no one gives you shit about it. BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. As we all know now, EVERYTHING gives you cancer. I say this tongue in cheek but with the studies going around these days, it seems everything really does. Bottled water for example...remember when they claimed potatoes caused cancer? If you aren't a picture of PERFECT health, as in you grow all your own food and live where the air is pure, then you really can't say anything because you aren't that healthy either. Smoking isn't healthy --neither is McDonalds, but we have the CHOICE to smoke/eat/drink whatever we want.
streetbum87 0
patriot
blacklite69 0
Man, you must have thin skin on ur feet... I used to do that all the time, on purpose, it didn't even hurt...
nokillnobeepbeep 0
You must have some really callous feet. Do you not lotion your feet!? Well, at least you can sand-down your hardwood floors without buying sandpaper.
youlose_ 0
ydi for smoking you stupid ****!
Stroomer 0
Hahahaha... Could see this debate coming.. I can see how you don't like to inhale second hand smoke. That's why I smoke only when I'm alone or with other smokers. Yet the government health agencies agree that that the most lethal self-induced conditions stem from being overweight. Let's be honest, a lot, and I mean A LOT of you people are overweight. So please, before going "YDI" on a smoker, go stand on a scale.
GreenHacker 0
And before commenting on someone's weight, go buy an ashtray and stop littering.
blackandgold 0
gross.
lets0wnya 4
ydi both for smoking and being stupid
starvingxartist 0
Christ, I am so sick of every single smoking story everyone going "YDI for smoking!" Like, really, can you just get over it and move on to the actual FML for once because smoking or not smoking is not the issue, nor does anyone care about your opinion.