Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML
Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like, "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML
Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my incredibly expensive conditioner to wash her two dogs every single weekend. No wonder they smell so good. FML
Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend's family for the first time. Unfortunately, I have diarrhoea and keep leaving extremely smelly farts around the house. I blame the dog every time, but I think they're catching on. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my girlfriend and her best friend have been in a contest to see who can go the longest without showering. They’ve just hit day 22. They smell so bad, I can’t stand to be in the same room with them anymore. I'm really about to dump her. FML
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
newburton13 26
I feel sorry for the dog, their sense of smell is 100 times that of ours.
BurningGrannies 16
Then... how often do they give the dog a bath?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
BlondeBubbles 6
Maybe they just don't like you because you use words like "fortnight".
typr04 5
They were being nice by blaming the smell on your dog...they knew all along!
Needafarm 22
I've thought about this for like 10 minutes and I have come to the conclusion that your parents just don't want anyone coming to their house anymore and they plan on getting rid of everyone Al Bundy style. Stinking them out. The water savings is just the excuse they gave you. The neighbors are next. :-p
Ashley_Sky 9
just confront your parents about it
ancientshadow1 2
Who uses the term fortnight still
stef44_fml 2
FEBREZE!!!!!
Satoaoi 13
in this economy icant blame them
pdp_fml 21
Please don't tell me that your parents are "tree huggers" trying to save the planet?
roloroelie 4
poor dog :(
Bicko2004 25
Once a fortnight; that's disgusting