Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night. She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
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Top comments
Cinn_fml 23
That's a little harsh, but she was probably joking. Your mum is concerned for your well being, I'd recommend getting some self defence lessons as well, as who knows how desperate any potential attackers will be. However, you also have an excellent point, OP, if you keep to well lit streets, you are less likely to be attacked on the basis. That's common sense, which is also helpful in these kind of situations.
staciieee_x3 0
LOLLL owned! PS. She was probably joking, so relax yourself.
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Comments (112)
littlesnareboy 0
oh that was just mean lol
iknewyouwould 0
Mum, mom does it make a ******* difference?
ohSNAPyall 27
You kinda walked into that one. ;)
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Rape is not about pretty. Some sickos rape an 80 year old. It's pathological not sexual. She can have a face like my cat's hiney, but he obsesses over 1 feature, hair colour, what-ev. There is the crime of date rape. It could be about the stuff above Or making out getting out of hand. Don't risk it. Prostitutes get raped the most, so try not to be mistaken for 1. Be careful online, that older guy is a loser without the skills to cope w/women, he is a Ped, not a pal. Hope this helps you not get raped. :)
Johnny6speed2 0
it must suck to be a fugly.
MrJoy 0
mom win
deafeningsilence 8
You probably got your "ugliness" from her.(;
skyeyez9 25
People are attacked and violated in broad daylight. Get a gun and a concealed carry permit, take the gun to a firing range, use it to become familiar with it.
MetallicaRules19 4
yeah she doesnt live in america where anyone from 13 to 100 can have a gun, no wonder america has the highest murder rate in the world
skyeyez9 25
calling your own child ugly is cruel, even if they are joking. They share the parents' DNA, and can't control what they look like.
bosko776 0
hahaha