Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defence lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one's going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, my car’s at the mechanic's so I called my mom and asked her to come pick me up from class, since it ends at 9pm and I was scared to walk home at night. She told me, “Oh honey, you have nothing to worry about, you’re too fat to get raped, plus you need the exercise.” FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML
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Top comments
Cinn_fml 23
That's a little harsh, but she was probably joking. Your mum is concerned for your well being, I'd recommend getting some self defence lessons as well, as who knows how desperate any potential attackers will be. However, you also have an excellent point, OP, if you keep to well lit streets, you are less likely to be attacked on the basis. That's common sense, which is also helpful in these kind of situations.
staciieee_x3 0
LOLLL owned! PS. She was probably joking, so relax yourself.
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Comments (112)
Sunsbeenkind 0
Rape isn't about sexual desire, it's about control. Period.
Illyssa_fml 4
Hahahaha!! oohh man, this was funny. Owned by your mom big time!!
blade15420 0
I love how kids come on here and insult the OP so they can think there life as a meaning
CherryGarcia 0
their* has* clearly your life does not
blahdasteph 0
if your so ugly thats 50% her fault .
mrjamjama66 5
Have you ever tried makeup? I've heard that stuff does wonders for hiding blemishes. also candle light is good too. yea candle light is used so you can't see someones flaws as easily. so everyone who thought they're boyfriend was being romantic.... well I think you have your next FML.
clarissa_Gyall 0
there is only one word that describes your mother...BITCH
Partyman22 0
Haha owned.
Cyndi7153 0
I would have told her that you have her DNA
CaptnNorway 10
You asked for that one. Your mother seem like a hilerious lady. And you should have said something back, that's funny :D
queeennnale 18
It doesn't matter if you're 'ugly' or not and it doesn't matter whether you walk under the street lights you can still be attacked