Um, if I would never be allowed to discipline my s/o's children I would never marry them. Regardless of whether or not they are my biological children my husband and I would have to be a partner ship. Now they may get the final say in the matter but if I'm watching his child and they misbehave I need to be able to discipline them or it creates a "I don't have to listen to you." mentality. A step-parent is still a parent, period. This step-parent may suck but he certainly does not speak for them all.

A stepparent isn't a "parent" to their stepkids at all. They're the husband/wife of the child's parent and should NEVER replace the mother/father, their most important goal with their stepchild is to become friends with them. Unless the child actually says they count the stepparent as their actual mom/dad for whatever reason. I should know, I have a stepmother who I love, but I don't get on with all the time. I wasn't really a naughty child so she never really had to correct me, but if she did have an issue with me, she would have said it to me to watch my behaviour and she'd also tell my dad or mother and they could act accordingly themselves, like a teacher would with a parent, which I thought was fair and the right way to go. If she had corrected me like my mam or dad did when I was small, I would have told her to get stuffed...

Wait what? Who said anything about trying to replace anyone? I dated a man with two children for years. They accepted they had four parents, they had a Mommy, a Daddy, a Melissa, and a Morgan. I never tried to be 'mommy' but if I get down on their level, teach them, potty train them, comfort them when they are sick you bet your ass I am not going be demoted to teacher. I loved those girls very, very much. Still do. Teaching them, molding them, and being a part of their life was one of the most important things in the world to me. They were two and four when I moved in. Shortly after their father went to work I woke them up and made the breakfast. When they started trying to throw their food away and acting out, what was I suppose to do? Say, "Wait till your father gets home." Wait 12 hours for him to get off of work so he could punish them when they may not even remember what they did? No. And you know what would have happened if they had told me to stuff it? They would have been in even more trouble. Their mother respected and supported me and expected me to listen to me as well. If she had ever complained about my disciplining them then her and I would have gotten together and discussed it like adults. She never did though.