She has quite the testy attitude.

OP should go ahead and take the test. Prove her that she's wrong... And stupid..

Unless he has substances still in him from a different time is he does use.

Tell her to "chill" out.

Drug test your mom, paranoia is a side effect of drug abuse. Naw I'm just kidding, your mom sounds like an absolute riot for a teenager to live with.

Not, I think you're on to it.
OP should challenge mom. If he test positive, he'll get help. If negative, she should get some psychiatric help

"We are high on life mom!"

she won't believe the results and will ground the OP for faking them

Just at you're high on Jesus.

jealousy maybe?

Crazy is more like it...

Next time you see her even mildly enjoying herself, demand a drug test!

I think OP should agree to do the drug test and when it comes back negative he should look his mother straight into the eyes and say "I pity you if you think a human being needs drugs to be happy".

^ future soap opera writer.

Amurica! Fuck Yeah!

# 28 has a point though. Not to bash on anyone, but how miserable does someone have to be to come up with that conclusion ?

sounds like she knows from experience

Better safe than sorry

Or it's the crazy thats talking

Every day has its highs and its lows. I guess she prefers you have the lows over the highs though...

Well lay of the drugs dammit..

She's just having a 'crack' at you

She has an interesting METHod

It's a parent's duty to "weed" out drug abuse.

Just because she can't be that happy without drugs doesn't mean others can't be.

So.... What drugs were you doing?

Does it matter? I usually just take a couple handfuls of whatevers around.

^^Charlie Sheen I presume.

a gallon of PCP. duh.

A gallon? Why not just make it in your bathtub and take a bath in it. Just let your skin absorb it until you slip out of conscious and get stuck in a never ending trip because it was too much....Yeah that's a blast.

Sounds like she needs the test

Sounds like she doesn't have much friends

Maybe her best friend is cocaine