Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I assume you made it.
WeezyBites 6
Pretty good way to stay in shape
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Comments (185)
robert76 5
As a German Shepherd owner, I can tell you the absolute worst response you could have had in that situation is running.
luvscomplic8ed 6
Haha good workout :)
mateusx 0
Haha this is hilarius
isis_morrigan 18
On the bright side, it was probably the best workout of your life! To really make it interesting, next time tie bacon and some steaks around your waist and try to run away from the dog!
xtalondriver 14
Interval training is supposed to be better for you anyway.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Yeah... Average interval workout for me: "Hi, my name is Shaun T, and this is-" "I ******* HATE YOU"
JuuChan 3
At least you lost more calories?
shiarrael 13
Running from the dog was the WRONG thing to do. You basically told him "I'm prey! Chase me!" Safest thing to do is STOP and stand very still without looking at the dog. He'll get bored with you and go away and then you WALK away from him. Unless, of course, you WANT him to bite you.
Gamaryn 0
Best jog ever? Great cardio :P Maybe take a different route next time, OP? But FYL for not knowing, But on the bright side at least you know now :)
ancollins 6
Get a Great Dane and tell your neighbor that as hard as you try, you can't get him to stop attacking dogs that aren't on leashes
ErickM123 3
But did u get laid????
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Fool. That was a terrible attempt at being funny.