Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML
Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML
Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML
Today, I had to chase my dog all the way down the street, watching in horror as she proudly showed all of my neighbors my bra. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
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Top comments
Dalliance 4
I assume you made it.
WeezyBites 6
Pretty good way to stay in shape
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Comments (185)
angelwing12 2
He thought you needed motivation :)
ashleybabbyyy 6
That sucks it made me smile tho(:
Paradoxx5 8
Am I the only one who noticed that OP's name is I Don't EXORCISE? Maybe it's a demon dog and you SHOULD exorcise.
hunteer9 5
Hey if it was really after you there is no way that you would have been able to escape it, it chased you because you ran and thought it would be fun to chase the chubby person jogging down the street.
ReesieBanana21 12
That's man's beat friend for ya
Mudkipxo 0
Burn those calories, honey!
EdwinG19 0
Run Forest RUN !!!!!!
G1ZZY 0
Maybe the dog was helping you out..?
prettigrlwrock 0
Maybe the dog thought you needed some motivation:)
VivaLaDork 2
I would piss myself, for I am scared shitless of dogs taller that my knees (& I'm a short person), I've got some damn good reasoning to--when I was three a dog bit off a large chunk of skin that was a little over 1/4 of my face off of my face--I got lucky and it healed over well now I am left with a scar that looks kinda like a dimple...