Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
T9FTW 20
Welp, now you're both leaking.
Welshite 39
You would think people would know better by now: don't ever accuse a woman being on her period; EVER.
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Comments (179)
SparklyCuntt 12
YDI for being a sexist twat. News flash, just because a woman is pissed off does not always mean that they're on their ******* rag.
DarkStorm2Bad 14
While it was quite clearly a horrible and inappropriate thing for her to spike your food with laxatives, it's generally not a good idea to say or do anything that would make an already pissy person even angrier. You should cross the river BEFORE telling the crocodile he has bad breath, to paraphrase someone whose name escapes me.
Achall91 17
And so is his mother...
blackonblight 32
YDI for: 1: using that shitty line to imply that a woman's cycle is the only thing you can think of that would make her act touchy; 2: Using that disrespectful line in reference to YOUR MOTHER. Unless she has done something to lose your respect, that is your mother, she carried your fetal ass around dealing with hormones and back pain and morning sickness, you respect that woman. If she is not your birth mother, then she still has to have specifically lost your respect, assuming she acted like a mother. You do not say shit like that to your mother. You respect your mother.
hayjay2000 8
This was the best comment I have see on this post so far
blackonblight 32
I might have been able to muster some sympathy if it were a sister. Even if the line is so disrespectful I want to punch anyone I hear using it un-ironically. I can get being disrespectful to siblings. But to your mother? Oh HELL no. You don't pull that shit with your momma.
Ki11erC 18
So poisoning, which technically this is, is ok now as long as its done after a snarky comment. Bad taste, shouldn't of said, maybe but for a parent this is rather to far. Would count as abuse here probably in the land of the shutdown government too, Iceland I have no idea about but still.
quil 11
Never insult the people who make your food. This is valid in every situation
rikkidi 20
YDI you just shouldn't use that line.
Shandra78 9
Bet you were right...also: lesson learned yet?
Sheh_fml 25
To her defence, it is horrible to have your feelings and opinions being ignored on the base that you have a functioning (female) body. Because the vast majority of women doesn't become emotional monsters at that time of the month. But spiking someone's food/drink with laxatives is considered poisoning, so yeah... Not cool.