Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, I crawled into my mom's room to tell her my stomach was in massive pain. She ended up throwing me out of the room while spraying me with Lysol. My appendix was about to burst and I needed surgery. FML
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Top comments
T9FTW 20
Welp, now you're both leaking.
Welshite 39
You would think people would know better by now: don't ever accuse a woman being on her period; EVER.
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Comments (179)
Callilah 13
Well now you know not to say a word to your mom while she's on her period or menopause who knows0.0
anniemeece 23
"Couldn't help" yourself? You obviously need to work on your self control.
bananawatson 1
umm your mom seems psycho.. wtf.
Cluricaun 5
that's some funny shit
sweetbliss3 37
Yes, bc girls never have bad days. Ever. So when we do it's assholes like you, who have to be ignorant and just assume we're on our periods. ugh. ydi, buddy
RayearthNinja 10
YDI, you idiot. Never **** with a woman on her period.
Ambient25 24
"wow" is my response to your comment. And "fuckface", that's cute. I'll have to remember that when you comment on the next FML as "oh no".
Birdjr1995 5
That is the most well crafted act of revenge I have ever heard of.
love_me_electric 20
Don't ever accuse a woman of being on her period. If you're wrong, you'll be in trouble. If you're right, you'll be in even bigger trouble.
sunnyray812 42
In my opinion, YDI. Us women HATE when people say we must be on our period when we have a bad mood. That's not going to make it any better especially if the woman is on her period.