Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML
Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Iamnotmyself 17
I bid 20$
JiggaJayZ 16
I bid alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (338)
jaysweet112197 8
LOLOLOLOL
kendall1058926 7
aww :( that's sad
slimjadee8080 0
awkward.. if shes that immature.. you can do better
Dead_damion 0
30$ over here!
doc89holliday 3
haha well at least she has a sence humor
sweet_candy_ 17
I was just trying to make the poor guy feel better. I thought it was cute. Way to be a hypocrite about it.
lulzSHUTUP 0
the economy is tough she might not be able to sell :/
kilrist_fml 0
20.01!!!!
emilyymariee98 7
my name is emily i did this to my guy friend expect i didnt put the 'for sale part' he took it the wrong way he now thinks im obessed with him.
xknightlightx 2
she doesnt deserve a guy for being like that... she should change to be more fair ... who the hell does she think she is what disgrace