Today, I asked the man of my dreams out on a date. His response: "I'd rather eat my own balls." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML
Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML
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Top comments
nonsensical 26
"Not if I eat them first!!" Yeah, no, that'd be weird nevermind.
spamhands1 18
That is not nice, your better off without him
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Comments (114)
Paws_Cat 29
So it's a dinner date?
CzechIsBack 15
Good riddance to him. Think about how pleasant he would have been if that's his initial response
starlandmarie 22
Douche bag alert! You deserve better. Be glad his true colors were blatantly obvious. Good luck finding that special someone.
mistress_paz 30
Better off alone than dating a ******** eating cannibal then.
victorvldv 8
You need to not dream about douchebags
jcb805 11
Totally just loled
Pharmkitty 11
Should have told him to prove it. Lol. On a serious note- you totally didn't deserve to be treated that way. He sounds like a jerk. His response says more about him than it does about you.
RA91 26
Why would anyone say "YDI" to this???
mrlawlor7777 26
Read the first part of 34's comment.
Roxas_hearts 27
OP probably only payed attention to looks. Still, FYL.
Drag0nb0rn 22
There is a possibility,though unlikely, that maybe they are very good friends and she knows he is the man of her dreams because they have been friends for years and he didn't think she was serious so he responded with a joke of his own. But most likely that's not the case, I'm just trying to come up with the best case scenario for OP instead of believing that she fell for a man that she had never met and only found physically attractive.