Precision flinging

By oh god why - 06/10/2019 00:01

Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 250

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

My body hates me

By How? - 09/10/2022 22:30

Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML

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You deserved it 160

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 571

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 373

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 404

You deserved it 629

Splatter analysis

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Pataskala

Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 141

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 782

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Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 2 298

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 563

You deserved it 6 001

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 137

You deserved it 404

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 731

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:00

On positive side, at least it’s your own blood.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 6 October 2019 4:11

🤣🤣😂 That takes talent

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 October 2019 0:24

I hope you are!

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:00

On positive side, at least it’s your own blood.

EmDizzle2007 28

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:14

something you usually have to pay to see

bullsonyourface 20

Sunday 6 October 2019 2:37

I'm actually incredibly impressed

BurnInDemonFire 35

Sunday 6 October 2019 3:52

How hard did you pull?

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 6 October 2019 4:11

🤣🤣😂 That takes talent

Mara Malayin 4

Sunday 6 October 2019 11:15

This is probably the first “FML” ive laughed at in YEARS 😂😂

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Sunday 6 October 2019 11:55

thst last line gives it away

ojosRojos 28

Sunday 6 October 2019 19:51

Omg that would be traumatizing! Hope your eye is okay

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 22 October 2019 5:22

Carrie White, is that you?

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Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 27 647

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I agree, your life sucks 46 148

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Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 938

You deserved it 43 322

Today, at work, the only toilet in the building was so clogged that it was overflowing. We didn't have a plunger, so basically the only way to stop it was to try and reach in and remove the blockage. I was nominated to do it. FML

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You deserved it 183