Love: Play it cool

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 098

You deserved it 20 245

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Sheer class

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 803

You deserved it 38 475

Dingus

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 13:24 - Tanzania United Republic of

Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 803

You deserved it 65 998

By iammike - 24/08/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I saw two cute girls walking my way as I was parking my car. Trying to impress them, I got out and attempted to coolly walk to the sidewalk. I tripped on the curb, scraped both my knees, and was laughed at all the way until I got back inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 631

You deserved it 36 011

You dolt!

By ilovefootball - 07/09/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 193

You deserved it 78 176

By TipsyTj - 29/03/2016 13:05 - Canada - Kentville

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 216

You deserved it 3 266

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 10:12 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 896

You deserved it 49 663

By laurisshnazzy - 07/04/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street with my friend, one I walk down every day, and I saw a really cute guy nearby. I felt like I looked better than usual, so I turned my head to offer a smile, and walked right into a pole. The impact was strong enough to send me falling to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 176

You deserved it 46 898

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 02:00 - Brazil

Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 2 142

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 576

You deserved it 69 594

By Badday - 25/10/2009 04:38 - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 951

You deserved it 29 916

ceddyz17 10

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:13

awww falling head over heals allready

Eggers 2

Saturday 23 April 2011 5:14

what were your hands *doing* in your pockets, you naughty boy?

Comments

Tomatobee 4

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:42

Rule of advice: Do NOT try to date your neighbor. It just doesn't work. Haha.

Destruct0r 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:35

how the hell can you have a rule of advice?

xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:44

walking is hard :/

baconbutton 1

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:51

"hood". the word you're looking for is "hood".

bootje 5

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:55

Next time you notice her looking at you, try waving and smiling!

SmelloJello 9

Saturday 23 April 2011 6:58

Boo hoo.

MC18 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:15

awkward...she was creeping on you through the window...that's not weird.

damienms 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 11:45

haha seriously..

bbydoll19 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:25

i totally wish i could have been there!

Gamzee_fml 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 7:50

Just tell her that you were checking if gravity was working. Then ask her to jump out the window into your arms.

damienms 0

Saturday 23 April 2011 8:09

lmao ydi for thinkin u smooth

jeremyt8nc 6

Saturday 23 April 2011 8:17

Yeah. I wonder what the "car" was? hm

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 098

You deserved it 20 811

Today, as I was trying to impress my girlfriend of three months, I showed her the real diamond ring I'd got for my ex. She got an attitude for our whole three-hour car ride home because I'd brought up my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 1 321

The Top

Today, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't stop looking at my phone while working. I work in the back room, and there is no clock in there. I look at my phone to check the time. That way I know how long I have left in that hellhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 563

You deserved it 7 276

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 677

You deserved it 2 969

Today, the best restaurant in our neighbourhood is owned by a husband and wife who scream at each other constantly. Everyone thinks it’s funny, so they have a lot of loyal customers. I took a date there but the screaming gave her flashbacks to her own parents, so she hyperventilated and fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 268

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 2 477

Today, I was called a bitch and "freaky as hell" because I don't like watermelon. I'm sorry, but just because I'm black doesn't mean I like watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 1 499

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 654

You deserved it 3 852