Health, Drunk and Grandparents: Pissed

Pissed

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got piss drunk off two glasses of wine and kept telling me how I'm "so... ROUND!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 415

You deserved it 2 547

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By fuckoffgran - 01/08/2013 14:46 - Ireland

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 486

You deserved it 5 695

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 04:00 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, during a family reunion, my 89 year-old grandma stood up and drunkenly made a speech about how ashamed I should be of myself for still being single. She then passed out at the table. Half my family got up to help her, the other half whispered in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 157

Cheers, Henry

By Tams - 12/09/2019 12:00 - Canada

Today, my grandma and I went to visit one of her friends. The elderly gentleman told me I'd grown into a very beautiful young woman, to which my grandma replied, "Have you started in on the sherry early this evening, Henry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 130

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 20:50

Today, my drunk grandma flashed me, after confusing me, a 19 year old girl, for my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 909

You deserved it 2 347

By poro123 - 05/11/2012 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 370

You deserved it 4 876

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 133

You deserved it 5 308

By ohdear - 03/01/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 812

You deserved it 3 680

By Anonymous - 13/09/2013 17:06 - Ireland - Donegal

Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 7 198

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 140

You deserved it 2 100

Faint praise

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 12:02 - Romania - Iasi

Today, we had a group of friends over, as well as my grandma. She started talking about me when I was a kid, when I suddenly heard her saying, "Well, yeah, she wasn’t a beautiful child, not at all, she looked.… OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 83

rnarshmallow 21

Friday 1 January 2016 11:03

I've found that my Grandma also doesn't have a filter when talking.. and that's sober

Whatapuffchild 23

Friday 1 January 2016 11:15

How round is a shape and shapes are beautiful. Look on the bright side, youre a beautiful sun that shines on everyones world.

Comments

igottapee 27

Saturday 2 January 2016 6:13

well are you pregnant?

adrian1203 12

Saturday 2 January 2016 6:54

may be she meant it as a compliment ..round as **** which means she wanted to call you sexy

Bragi 12

Monday 4 January 2016 2:29

Well are you, OP?

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Birthday Family Money Mother in law Gifts Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

Today, according to my husband, if I die first he won’t be looking after my son from a previous marriage. Either my sister will have to take him or he’ll go into foster care. He doesn’t want kids of his own, so he’ll be dammed if he has to look after someone else’s just because I’m dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 504

You deserved it 946

The Top

Today, I had a relaxing night watching movies with my room-mates. Everyone but I had a girl over to lie with during the movie. The closest I got all night was the multiple times my room-mate's dog tried to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 648

You deserved it 3 938

Today, my husband is so useless that he forgot to pick our son up from my mother's, forgot to take our daughter to the doctor, forgot to buy some groceries we need, and after begging for another appointment with the doctor, he forgot what was wrong with our daughter (a massive rash) I despair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 351

Today, I found out I have aggressive brain cancer, then my girlfriend dumped me because, as she put it, if I’m going to be dead in a year anyway, she might as well move on now so as not to waste her time. I knew she was evil, it’s what I loved about her, but man, this is low even for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 484

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 700

You deserved it 6 000

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 250

You deserved it 3 330

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 16 917

Pissed

Same thing different taste

Cheers, Henry

Faint praise

Top comments

Comments