Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I found myself sneaking into my apartment to avoid the old lady who lives next to me. Funnily enough, I moved into my own apartment because I was tired of sneaking into it to avoid my mom, who lived with me. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It really brings my blood to a boil when parents don't give the slightest regards to their children. OP I hope you warm to the idea of disowning such a careless ice-queen.
badbadkitty 5
Wow. Sounds like your mother really cares about your well being! I'm so sorry OP! I'm sure you have friends who care more than your mother!
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Comments (44)
heartemopants 18
Whenever I think warm thoughts I end up having to pee...
Enslaved 38
I'm the opposite. Whenever I'm super cold, it makes me want to pee a lot. (:
Saddyohh 13
Stay cold. Keeps the swelling down. Your parents are looking out for you in their own asinine way. Don't worry, I'm not serious. I rarely am.
seamus87 4
It's not like you're being forced to live outside. Rug up. Can't always go crying home to mummy
calthius 0
That's a very asshole thing to say...
seamus87 4
Lol
missnezzy 10
Just noticed your from the UK OP like me and i know how crazy cold it is right now so that sucks :(
afairshake 8
Wow what a loving mom NOT hope you feel better and your heat is fixed soon FYL and why would anyone be marking you deserve it
THALESKY 3
Damn that was cold. Literally
sirlime 1
That would have been a hilarious joke if you weren't on the bloody BRITISH ISLES. No sympathy your mum
the_enigma1019 1
People's parents should be less mean spirited, we do end up picking their retirement home.
perdix 31
On the bright side, you're not going to have to make an effort to ice down your wound. Also, there's one less Christmas present you'll have to buy. Or you could give your mom some ugly painted pottery with no weed stuffed inside.
taranpreet 7
Lol this is definitely something my mother would says.