Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML
Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML
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Top comments
kimsimwolf 8
A secret he can explain to the police after you call them.
slingerslasher 24
Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, revealing the secret compartment of my secret box!
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Comments (29)
kimsimwolf 8
A secret he can explain to the police after you call them.
CaptMacLeod 45
"Why are the police here?" "It's a secret, too."
friedpwnadge 25
Time to change the locks.
SixthSinEnvy 39
Change the locks? Time to change addresses.
Noelletakumi 36
That's terrifying, I would call the police. Unless he just spent the night with your roommate and is messing with you. But, still not cool.
slingerslasher 24
Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, revealing the secret compartment of my secret box!
rjc490 29
Mischief managed....
slingerslasher 24
AN EMBARRASSING SNAPSHOT OF SPONGEBOB AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
Myo_fml 20
I really love the internet. if you Google it, so many artists have depicted what they think that photo looks like. Search it, search it now.
Feklfekl2222 32
Well at least he's your roommates friend not a stranger, so they're more likely to investigate him during the murder investigation
MrSarary 26
Maybe you're roommate let them in? I mean they are friends. On the other hand maybe there really is a secret passage way into you attic?
badassmf1234 22
That's not creepy at all
LPac5295 27
This will be a fun story for the police!
ronnixoxo 18
damn tweakers.
8Dirty1 24
would you prefer your attic was haunted instead?
laden_swallow09 34
Yes. Because ghosts can't kill me in my sleep even if they wanted. Just like mediums and exorcists, I can call up the police to remove a troublesome trespasser, if not more easily.
devinm112233 22
I would just go back to bed XD