calthius

Mr College Station, USA 39 years-old Single

Anonymous This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff United States

Beach body

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

88 comments

lonelyandcold This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff Solihull, United Kingdom

Piss off, basically

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

44 comments