By niquey62307 - 08/12/2009 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 346
You deserved it 5 779

Same thing different taste

Top comments

...five? Your husband's got mad endurance!

Is "slaps his sausage" slang for masterbating or is he ACTUALLY slapping a sausage. I personally think if he was literally slapping a sausage while watching you have sex would be so much funnier!


Because that's how long they last... Or how long he lasts beatin' his meat

terranada 3

they're called curtains. learn to use them

for 2 years these ppl haven't had curtains wow what's wring with the world

kendalkj 0

next time close your blinds and it won't be a free Porno for the old man.. and first

btw, ur not first, and if u even were, noone cares.why is it such an accomplishment to be first, while some people are fighting for a greater good, protecting their country, or helping people in, say Haiti. go get a life

JAT070 0

that's a compliment in my book

krasian 0

but get a restraining order and better shades

It didn't occur to you to but curtains for 2 years? Or even crazier, that someone can see you and your husband shag with the windows wide open?

yeah seriously.. once in a while I can understand, but if he could see everytime, then it's your own fault for not closing the curtains/blinds, or for not noticing the view from your window that goes to his window

Also five cigarettes? No foreplay then I guess?

YDI Keep blinds, I'm assuming you're in a city, common situation. But why are you watching back during sex to know it's 5 cigs and he's slapping the sausage. Sex must be pretty bad if you have to watch him

Is anyone else wondering how she knows this? I smell a fake....

she also could have told him to stop or something and the creepy neighbor told her he does this while he watches

i agree with the comments next time make sure the blinds are closed lol for all you know he made a tape of this

XxbladixX 0

ewww that's gross maybe now you know to close the blinds before sex. ;)

...five? Your husband's got mad endurance!

I interpreted it as five at the same time

I would too if you left your windows open for the world to see. YDI

Lol "slaps his sausage"! Never heard that one before!

perdix 29

Oh, come on, if you had non-ugly neighbors who regularly had sex in plain view, wouldn't you watch? Of course, that is if there's nothing good on TV or there are no FML's that scream for comment. And might you also get a bit excited from the show and seek some release by choking the chicken? C'mon, truth! But, smoking?!?!?!? Eeeeewww .... disgusting!