Permission denied

Today, my boss asked me if I know anything about those tattoos that girl put on their lower backs. "You mean Tramp Stamps?" I responded. He looked at me with hatred in his eyes and said that his 18 year old daughter just got one. FML

Naughty girl

Today, my mom found out that I got a tattoo two years ago. She got mad and spanked me. I'm 33 years-old. FML

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

Overreaching

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML

Economic abuse

Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML

Today, my mom wouldn't let me go to the YMCA pool with the rest of the family. She said that the sound my thighs make when they rub together is "embarrassing". FML

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

Ankle monitor

Today, despite my warnings and knowing I hate them, my wife got a trashy tattoo of an eye on her ankle, like she’s Count Olaf. How is she going to get a job with that thing? FML