Pay your respects

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

Up and down

Today, I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was sobbing hysterically as she told me that I was getting a pay raise was because I was going to the vet to have my sick and dying cat put down. Good news at a bad time. FML

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML

The giggle loop

Today, my boss announced he will be taking bereavement leave due to his father passing away. For some reason I’ll never understand, I got the urge to laugh. I tried so hard to hold it in but it was very obvious. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be able to write this. FML

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

The sociopaths amongst us

Today, my boss is such an unfeeling asshole that he seriously thought he could demand I only stay at my best friend's funeral for 45 minutes then return to work, because it was “just a friend, not a relative', and that when his mother died he "took a whole 2 hours off and was back at work by 11:45.” FML

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

Today, I was at a meeting. One of the other members decided to share that their cat had passed away recently. I got an uncontrollable nervous laugh, started crying because I was laughing so hard, and left the room while everyone watched in horror. FML