Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
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Top comments
Randyrhoads1994 11
Everyone gets nervous, I'm sure you could explain that you were nervous and you didn't sleep well.
devildog562 33
Explain to them the situation. Ace the polygraph and go be a civil servant my friend. Kind of sucks, hope things work out op.
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Comments (60)
quickit 24
Sleeping on the job?
Randyrhoads1994 11
Everyone gets nervous, I'm sure you could explain that you were nervous and you didn't sleep well.
MeanBeagle 22
unless your test giver is your current wife.
Soloman212 28
Then they'd know he's telling the truth.. On top of that, whether or not they were his current wife, they'd know he's telling the truth since they're administering a polygraph test.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@8 I didn't read anywhere in the FML about his wife being involved at all, or that he even had a wife. That comment was completely random.
redpanda39 10
@17, 8 was replying to 6's comment, so not really random at all.
Adeptus_Astartes 22
@22 Ok, so both their comments are completely random.
fuckedPriceless 17
@23 only #6 was random. #8 was relevant in that he was responding to someone.
devildog562 33
Explain to them the situation. Ace the polygraph and go be a civil servant my friend. Kind of sucks, hope things work out op.
PennyLane27 32
Hopefully op will be a c-op soon :)
pipipiyo 12
I hate it when that happens. At times like those is when sleeping pills come in handy.
Sariasprincy 7
Until you sleep through all your alarms and miss your poly....
thanks_guys 14
I'm sure if you just explain it they'll understand. This has probably happened a lot, but it still sucks
WooHooBar 10
YDI For that horrid spelling of supposed!
Narayan96 13
Oo a fellow British Columbian, and that totally sucks they should understand since sleep is godly ^_^
BubbleGrunge 18
It wasn't a lie, though; you did sleep in and right through your alarm.
somewizdom 15
Sleeping in out of anxiety is pretty understandable. It's not like you were high and couldn't lie about it.
worldclassrager 39
Can that be postponed and done later?