Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, I was with my 3 year-old son in the doctor's office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML
Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML
Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
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Top comments
Randyrhoads1994 11
Everyone gets nervous, I'm sure you could explain that you were nervous and you didn't sleep well.
devildog562 33
Explain to them the situation. Ace the polygraph and go be a civil servant my friend. Kind of sucks, hope things work out op.
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Comments (60)
CarlosDanger 12
If you get nervous from the thought of taking a test you should not be a cop.
usnwife 18
I'd think it was more the anxiety of the test either giving or taking away (what I assume to be) a job he really wanted. It impacts his whole future, most people would be nervous about that. It doesnt mean he wont be able to handle what is required to be a cop, just that he takes his life seriously. Hope it worked out OP!
trex454 21
that poly is nerve racking. most of us spend years preparing to be a cop. the testing process is extensive and highly competitive. after all you go thru your last step is to take an inaccurate and unreliable test about all the personal details of your life. which if you dont give the exact answert then boom your out. if your not nervous for it then you shouldnt be a cop
Enslaved 36
A normal amount of nerviness is understandable but when it effects you in such a way? Now a days it seems nervous cops shoot out of panic vs reason. That thought scares me!
CarlosDanger 12
There is a difference between having anxiety and being crippled by your anxiety.
DaBayst 15
I've pretty sure if you had to pass an unreliable test that determines the future of your career that you'd be anxious too. This is why most of the world doesn't use polygraph tests anymore. All it does is measure how nervous you are.
CarlosDanger 12
Are you illiterate? Learn how to read and then re-read the comments.
CarlosDanger 12
Like I already said, it is fine to be nervous. Everybody gets nervous. However, in this case he could not control his anxiety and it effected how he functions. That is the problem.
atlernick0 6
Sorry about that OP! Let us know if you got the job
thinblue32 15
Actually they might even go as far as saying why were you so nervous, are you trying to hide something. Polys and voice stress, even psych is super stressful, but that's what they want.
stargirl_95 24
I'm surprised that they're still using polygraph tests. Those things are notoriously unreliable and are known to give false positives. Anyway, I hope that you still managed to get the job
thinblue32 15
They mostly use it to get you to confess on something that may have been a lie on your PHS. They can't dismiss you for your poly showing deception. If it does, just stick to your answer. If you say "well there was that one time..." Right there. You're done.
CrazyMelvin 14
I'm sorry, but that's actually funny. I LOL'd. It is a FML and I hope it worked out ok.
aliciavanham 13
Omg, that's so bad. Not a good first impression.
UC_jrmnts 15
Just be honest and good luck! We've all messed up at one point. Good luck and you'll be an officer in no time!
DaBayst 15
I thought they didn't do polygraph tests anymore. All a polygraph does is measure how nervous you are. Someone who is calm could lie throughout the whole test without a single problem.
mike762414 6
How about don't be a cop
mrjiggles1992 18
Err those things aren't totally accident and really they are only for Scientology and Jeremy Kyle style shows... They are all about self guilt.