Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, my cat decided the perfect place to throw up was on herself. Cleaning a smelly old cat with a showerhead is trouble enough, but when she tried to escape, it resulted in the bathroom being turned into one big puddle. FML
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Top comments
sgtgrim570 0
wet pussy fail
MermaidSongXOXO 6
It thought your balls were a toy. It's a common mistake, really.
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Comments (255)
sexpistol 0
lol, that's actually pretty funny. but be warned: your cat will never be the same again. i recently found out that a couple years ago, when i was in high school, my then-boyfriend peed on my dog during a party at my house. after that night, he started acting funny and i could never figure out why. now i know.
jellybean120 10
Lol!
ImaginaryFoe 1
Your ex is awful. That breaks a dog down because they are not alpha anymore or something.
Jlevrt 0
thats a phrase ive never heard before..."i peed on my cat today"
scattman 0
lol, your cat got ahold of the wrong stuff
joker125 0
learn to shut the door
paigeatsflesh 11
YDI for letting your cat see your schlong. xD
joker125 0
ahahaha nice
Felendris 0
^^^lol xD oh, is it one of those cats that does anything for water? sometimes one of my cats (all ******* 12... my mom fosters them, we own 4) follows me and he starts drinking my piss >_>
paigeatsflesh 11
that's amazing.... but gross.
DGross 8
hehe...you said schlong... ...and wow a piss drinking car...scary world we are in.. I guess it's sterile but really?? edit: I meant cat... but I'm going to leave car in there because that would be sweet...the ultimate way to move away from dependence on foreign oil :-P
Monikabug 9
I Lol'd at that, Derek. :)
Cricketiscool 0
bahaha dgross I laughed at that. Can you imagine pee powering your car?
FrecklesXO 8
That'd be so much cheaper if cars drank piss. Haha
StoryOfTheYear 15
schlong is going to be passed around on this site for quite a while due to that your schlong is now a schlort (or however they spelt it) :}
StoryOfTheYear 15
and lol on the piss powered car
VvCJHvV 6
lol @78 that would be so awesome but it would hard to fill up a 16 gallon tank haha
CallMeHush 1
More beer.
tb15 0
why do you let your cat follow you into the bathroom?
Official_Person 0
That's exactly what I was thinking? I would never let a cat follow me into the bathroom... Cat discipline fail.
emily00 0
looool. I voted FYL but considered YDI for letting your cat in the bathroom. In my house our cats aren't allowed in the bathroom.
shawty_22 0
maybe the point was to let his cat see his schlong
ahugit 0
^^^ love this (:
flippyyfeatherr 0
catss are for fairies :)
SeedlessMe 13
Dude cats are evil, evil creatures. Faeries and forest nyphms fear the beastly felines!
irsmeagol 0
Probably thought ya fun bags were floatation devices and tried to keep itself from drowning. One smart pussy I'll say